So Good

I know I already posted for the day but I just had to post the words to this song.

"I Will Arise and Go to Jesus"
Come ye sinners poor and needy
weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.

I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms.
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh there are ten thousand charms.

I love this song. It has meant so much to me these past few days. I can't even begin to tell you how much the Lord has blessed me in these past few days, but it is beyond description how good He has been. He has become more precious to me than anything and my desire for Him has become all-consuming. What a mighty, awesome, wonderful God I serve!

A Psalm

Not much to write today. Just wanted to post a Psalm I read yesterday and really liked. It says so much and is so appropriate for me and my life right now.

Psalm 27
The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life; Whom shall I dread?
When evildoers come upon me to devour my flesh,
My adversaries and my enemies, they stumbled and fell.

Though a host encamp against me, My heart will not fear.
Though war arise against me, In spite of this I shall be confident.
One thing I have asked of the Lord, that shall I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord And to meditate in His temple.
For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret place of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.
Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice, And be gracious to me and answer me.
When You said, "Seek My face," My heart said to You,
"Your face, O Lord, I shall seek."
Do not hide Your face from me, Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help; Do not abandon me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me, But the Lord will take me up.
Teach me Your way, O Lord, And lead me in a level path Because of my foes.
Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries,
For false witnesses have risen against me, And such as breathe out violence.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see
the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord. Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

I love this Psalm. Truly God has been all this and more to me and I am waiting expectantly to see all the wonderful things He will do and all the blessings He will bring in my life.

Some Remembering

I am a very nostalgic person. I love memories and they usually have a very strong impact on me. I was remembering today what my life was like last year. I had a very rough first half of the year. By the time June came I felt like I was on the road to recovery. There were so many things that I was struggling with and so many hurts I was trying to deal with. Amidst all this I had hope that things would get better. I didn't know how or when, but I knew they would. This song was one of my favorites during that time. I must have listened to it at least five times every day. It was like the words kept me going, kept reminding me that no matter how bad things looked, God would help me get through it and would cause all things to work together for good.:
"Beauty From Pain"

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain.

If you're wondering why I am recalling all this or even bringing it up, well, I've run into some hurts again. Not anything like I was going through last year, but still, hurts. I remembered this song this morning and that started the memory ball rolling. I have to say that looking back on what I have come through and remembering how much God did for me in the last year has helped immensely. I know that you cannot live this life and avoid problems or avoid dealing with things. But I also know that no matter what the problem or what the situation there will be a resolution and with the Lord that resolution will be a good one.

My Life and God

Sometimes this crazy life can throw us all for a loop. Things don't work out the way we planned them, or they do work out that way and we are very unhappy with our success. Relationships form that we think will last forever and then suddenly they are broken. Friends are found in unexpected places and bring something to your life that you never knew you were missing. Life can change from great to terrible in three seconds, or from depressing to wonderful in a moment. To be very honest, I'm never really sure where this life is taking me or what will happen from one day to the next. Now, for my melancholy, planning mind that can drive me nuts. I can feel like things are out of control or that if I don't know what is going to happen and exactly when it is going to happen that means that it will end up horribly. However, I am learning that I can also choose to just relax and let God take me wherever it is He wants to and realize that I don't have to always know what is going on or how things will work out. Believe me, it is very hard - sometimes excruciatingly so - for me to hand the reins over to someone else and let them make the decisions on what will happen. It's not that I'm a control freak, I'm just not confident that I am safe in anyone's hands but my own. Of course, I know that being in God's hands is the best place to be, but living that and actually trusting Him to direct my life and take care of me and all my wants and needs are two different things. So, I'm trying to learn how to really "commit my way to the Lord", trusting Him to take care of everything. I can say that when it comes to important decisions in my life I am not used to trusting God to take care of everything. I usually spend my time trying to ensure things go the way I think they should or want them to. Now I want to learn how to relax, let go of the reins, and let God direct me where He will, knowing that He will only do what is best for me and if I follow His plan for my life then it will be the best life I could ask for on this earth. Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans for welfare and not for calamity; to give you a future and a hope." It also says in Ephesians 3:20:(He) Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--. I know God can run my life far better than I can and I want to actually live it, no holds barred, in every area, waiting to see where He will take me and how amazing both the journey and the outcome will be. So, here's me taking a deep breath and plunging into trusting God to lead me and guide me in the right way, not knowing how it will end up but trusting Him to make everything right.
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all." Proverbs 3:5,6 (the Message)
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight. Prov. 3:5,6 (New American Standard Bible)
"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." I Peter 5:7 (Amplified)

*About Me* Missed memories: My friends who have known me from grade school through high school (you know you girls are missed). My dad actually being my dad. My grandfather and being on the farm in Texas. Being a kid and having no responsibility (lol), and being home with my mom and my brothers and sisters.

About Me

One can only form an opinion of someone with what they know of them. So, I've decided to post a little about myself each time I write a post. These "facts" will appear at the end of each post so that they don't interfere with anything I'm writing about, but hopefully it will give you a pretty good picture of who I am. For those of you wondering, no there will be no sordid details or amazing confessions of things I have experienced; but there will be summations of who I am and what makes me "me".
So, first "fact" to post is on my beginnings. It will be a bit long since it is a starting point, but it won't be that way for the other posts. I am from a family of eight. There were six girls and two boys (don't even bother feeling sorry for the guys, they managed just fine!). I was born in Tucson, Arizona and I have never lived anywhere else, nor do I desire to do so (at least not at this time). I would call my family's situation one step above poverty. While we weren't living on the streets, we definitely relied on charity and a wonderful church family to keep us going. "Hand me downs" were about the only clothes I owned until I was about 7 or 8. I have never known hunger, but I have known shame and humiliation at having too little or nothing at all. I do have some very fond memories of those first years of my life, though. I remember helping my dad make sack lunches for school when I was between 2 and 3. I can't imagine that I was much of a help, but the sheer joy of being with my dad and feeling like I was important to him is something I will always remember. I also remember waking up early in the morning to find my parents praying on the living room couch. I would crawl up on my dad's lap and stay there until they were finished and when mom got up to go, he would sit there with me and say a special prayer just for me, always reminding me how much he loved me and how important the Lord was in our lives. Yes, there certainly were good times in my young life.