Graduation

So, I did it! I finished my second bachelor's degree (this time in a science)and I am headed to graduate school in the fall. I can't believe it! I feel like I am finally on the path and progressing towards reaching my dreams. There have certainly been several road blocks along the way but I think, in some ways, that has made the ride all that much sweeter. This past weekend I went to my second graduation from college and it was actually more meaningful that the prior one. Aside from my department being ten times better than the last one I graduated from, this time as I walked across the stage to accept my "diploma" I felt that I was actually taking steps toward reaching my goals. This time around I felt that I had the respect of both my peers and my professors. It was amazing to have my teachers greet me, congratulate me, wish me the best of luck in my future endeavors, and most of all to express their feelings that I was indeed a good student. I cannot even express in words what that small department graduation meant to me, but it was a thrilling event for sure. Aside from my graduation I celebrated the graduations of three other people. It was a crazy weekend but it was good to see the hard work pay off for all four of us. Now that I am done with this step and getting ready to take the next one I find it hard to believe it is all done. I realized on Sunday night that I had taken my last test, turned in my last homework, and attended my last class as an undergraduate. It's a surreal feeling but a good one. On to bigger and better adventures!!!

Life

Life is always so interesting. There is always something going on, something happening. I am thankful that these days the stress is a lot less but I am still busy as ever. It seems that life is a never ending cycle of coming and going, living and learning. I am happy, though. I like what I am doing and I feel like I can handle the things that are on my plate at the moment. I have had some really wonderful experiences and I am hoping to have more. The sense of excitement that I have right now is wonderful. I am looking at some major changes but I am at peace about it. Perhaps that is because I am completely assured that I have sought the guidance of the Lord the whole way through and I will continue to do so. I hope that I will always continue to learn through the experiences I have and the things I go through in life. Otherwise, what is the point of going through them? Even the unpleasant things have a way of teaching you invaluable lessons and after the fact you find yourself being thankful that you had the opportunity to learn. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I am thankful for the things that keep me busy and thankful for the life experiences I have had. I feel that I have learned a lot and would not be the person I am today were it not for those experiences. I know that sometimes I grow tired and wish I could put everything on pause but I can't, and for the first time in a very long time I am alright with that.

Goings On

So, I have been on a grand adventure for the past two weeks and only now am I finally starting to come to the end of it. My trip to Colorado was wonderful and I wanted to post all about here but my computer came down with a virus and I was unable to fix it until I returned home. I then had a myriad of things that had to be done right away and didn't have the time to sit down and write about what was going on. Since I last posted I have made a decision on graduate school and started on the long path of moving out of state this summer. I am sure that Colorado is the place for me and is the next doorway I must walk through in my life's journey. It seems that everything is pointing that direction and after much prayer, a lot of talking, and several hours of contemplation I have made my decision. The letter goes out tomorrow and will make things final. I am excited and scared all at the same time. I have never lived anywhere away from home and I never really expected to, but now I am. The people at the school are all very nice and the town I am moving to looked great on my visit there. Of course, I am aware that there will be things I will not like and adjusting that will have to take place, but that would be true for anywhere I went. I am looking forward to what this next chapter of my life holds. I will be sad to leave my house and my family and friends, but there are new friends on the horizon and maybe even new family (fingers crossed). As for life right now, the semester is almost over and I am looking forward to its end with eagerness. This has been a bit of a rough semester for me and mostly for non-academic reasons. There have been so many things outside school to take up my time and attention that I have not been able to give school the attention I wanted, but I think all will turn out well. I did have a bit of sad news this past week. A very dear friend passed away and I find myself being constantly reminded of him. He was the type of man that you never forget and your heart always holds dear. He was someone I met in ministry and I used to love to watch him when there was music playing. He seemed to be transported to another world when my sister would sing "I Am Redeemed", or my cousin would sing "Lighthouse", and when I would sing "Amazing Grace" I can still hear him shouting "Glory" in his big booming voice with his hands lifted high. It was as though he was hearing the choirs of heaven and he wanted to join in. Well, now he can, and for his sake I am glad. He was suffering from cancer and it was taking a lot out of him and his wife. Now he is at peace and I am sure that if there really is a choir up in heaven he just as lively a member of the audience up there as he ever was down here. This Saturday we are going to remember his life, celebrate who he was, and I am thankful to have to chance to do so. Merle was a special man and there won't be another to replace him. I'm glad I had the opportunity to know him and to love him. It's people like him that come into your life and enrich it beyond your wildest dreams. They give you a gift that you in turn can give to another. That gift is love and is seen in its greatest form in the person of Jesus. Merle was so alive with the love of Jesus and it made him irresistible. I want that kind of love to rule my life, to be apparent to those around me the way it was to those around Merle. I also have another memorial service on Sunday. This one is for a professor from my department at the university. This man, too, was a loving, compassionate man. He was my lifeline when I wanted to give up on school and the dream I had. I prayed for the Lord to open doors for me and to send me someone who could help me and he sent me Dr. Hixon. I never knew what made this man answer my emails and agree to meet with me only to talk about my dreams and ideas, to give me advice for the future, but it never failed that anytime I called on him he responded with a care and concern I had never before seen in the academic world. His passing was truly a loss to those who benefited from the generous personality of this man.
So it would seem that death has once again touched my life and the lives of those around me. I know that it is inevitable, but that does not make it any less difficult to deal with. Sometimes I wonder what it will be like for there to be no more death. We would not miss the ones we love. We would not fear the loss of those close to us. We would not grieve because they have left us. At least I can say that for some of those whom I have lost I will again see them one day, and what a happy reunion it will be.
I guess those are my thoughts for now. I know there is more I want to write, more I should write, but my eyes are heavy and I need to rest. So, until next time, goodbye!

On My Way

Phew! It's been a long few days and now I find myself in a New Mexico airport awaiting a flight to Colorado. When I stop for a moment and reflect on the current situation all I can think is "Wow!" I can't believe things have gone the way they have. Two years ago I was just wishing to get into grad school and now I am flying out to check out a really good prospect. That's right, I am headed to Colorado to meet with people from a graduate program there that has accepted me and that I am very much interested in. This trip is really important to me for many reasons. First, it is the first time in my life that I have traveled somewhere completely on my own. There will be no one at the airport to greet me, no one at the hotel to say good night to, no one to help me navigate the three days I will be away from home. Of course, I am strictly speaking of humans. I am always aware that the Lord is with me, and that is truly a great comfort. But this time, it is just me meeting new people and having to scope out the territory so that I have the best information possible to make this gigantic life decision in front of me. I want to do it and I need to do it, but my nerves are definitely quaking inside me. The second reason this trip is so important is because I have three schools to choose from and I need this trip to help me decide something about this particular school. There are many things that ride on this decision and I am well aware of all of them. I think I know what I will do but I want to be absolutely positive that it is the right decision to make. I know that God is a loving Father Who always looks out for us and, contrary to my upbringing, will help us even when we make wrong decisions, but I want to make the right decision this time and I want to absolutely know it is the right decision. I am putting my complete trust in Him and leaning on Him to help and I know He will direct me in the right way. It's rather strange to me how much peace I actually have right now. I can get pretty stressed out rather easily but this time I am actually alright. I think that's a good thing. =D So, I will continue on to Colorado and pray that the trip is a good one with a good outcome. I think it will be. Actually, I can't wait to see how things look when the trip is over and I have returned home. There are new horizons in front of me and although the dawn has not yet allowed enough light in so that I can see across the expanse, it has let in enough light so that I can see clearly the next few steps in front of me; and that is all I need.