The Flight

I got on the airplane with a little hesitation. It was cloudy and very windy outside. I don't like flying anyway and I especially dislike it when there is bad weather to contend with. I knew the flight would be a short one this time but that wasn't really much of a comfort. I found my seat, stowed my carry on and strapped myself in. The plane was very full today. I looked out the window and wondered how much the strong gusts of wind would affect the flight. Soon everyone was boarded and we were preparing for take off. We started down the run way and into the air. The winds tossed the plane to and fro, making us pitch and sway like we were on a ship in the open seas. We climbed higher and higher, the wind still slamming against us. We were over the clouds soon enough, but the turbulence still seemed to affect us. I felt like I was on a roller coaster thousands of feet in the air and I was not comfortable at all. I realized how completely powerless I would be to do anything if something went wrong with the plane. I was growing more uncomfortable with each wave of turbulence that washed over the plane. Then I noticed the girl in the seat in front of me. We both had window seats and she was leaning on the arm of her seat peering out the window. She was beautiful. The most gorgeous child I had ever seen. She looked about four and was staring out the window with all the wonder of a fresh mind sponging up its surroundings. She had platinum blond hair that hung just below her shoulders with bangs that brushed her forehead, accentuating her amazing blue eyes. They were the color of the sky on a bright Arizona spring day. Her long dark eyelashes curled up in just the right way so as to frame her eyes like stones in a beautiful setting. Her cheeks were round and slightly pink and her chubby fingers rested on them as her hand held her shin. Her lips were plump and perfectly shaped, adding the finishing touches to her doll-like face. I marveled at the DNA that created such a child. She was beautiful beyond words, and, she was calm. Amid the pitching and rolling of the plane she sat calmly looking out the window, taking in all her eyes could see, pointing out things to her mother who was sitting next to her. There wasn't a hint of fear in her voice. She didn't even seem to notice that the plane was affected by the weather system outside. I wished that I could have had the same calm. Every time the plane dipped I felt my heart dropping out of my chest. I would have gladly had a child's mentality at that moment. The plane finally stabilized at a higher altitude and I grew comfortable in my seat. The little girl was still gazing out the window and I couldn't help but smile at her. She was certainly more "put together" than I was and I had to laugh at myself just a little.

Some Things

What do I want to say? I have so many things to say and don't know where to start. First, I want to go back to Valentine's Day. I had the most wonderful Valentine's Day I have ever had. It was just perfect. I had one wish for Valentine's Day, something I really wanted. I was in the store several days before and there were so many beautiful flowers everywhere. I just wanted to receive even one flower because they are so beautiful and I love them so much. I even prayed for flowers. I asked the Lord if it was possible to have someone get me some flowers, but I was determined to be happy with or without them. The most exciting thing about the day was what I had planned to do for those special to me. However, Valentine's Day came and I had more flowers than I knew what to do with. They were sooooo beautiful! I was thrilled beyond belief and the day was made even more special when my brother and sister came to see me at work. It was so wonderful to see them. There were so many wonderful things that happened, perhaps the most special to me came in the form of a very special card given to me by a very special person. I have never felt as wonderful as I did when I read that card. The whole day was just, huh, so great! Then, my trip last week was amazing. I think it was the best trip I have ever been on. I was able to rest and enjoy myself and I really enjoyed being with my grandparents. I saw and experienced a lot of really great things and it was everything I wanted it to be. I came back to work this week ready to start tackling the many things that I had left to do when I returned. There are multiple appointments I have this week and several things to take care of, but I don't mind. I am really excited about several things that are coming up and new directions that I am looking at taking. There are a lot of things that I have been dreaming about doing and it looks like maybe I will finally get a chance to do some of it. So, I think I've said enough. I hope it makes sense. There are so many things happening and so many things to think about that sometimes I find that my thoughts are going faster than I can relate them. Anyway, that's all for now.

Gushing!!!!!

Sigh! I have been having such a good time today I hardly know what to say or even do. What's even more interesting about it is that I was afraid the day was going to be a bit of a disaster, and it definitely had its more hazardous moments, but God is soooooo good and everything has turned out well. You know, it's amazing how when you feel like you need God the most and you just can't go one single moment more without Him, He comes in the strongest and gives you such wonderful ability to go on, and not only to keep moving forward but the ability to do it with joy. I have lived the Scripture "The joy of the Lord is your strength" more times than I can count and each time it gets sweeter and better to experience. It's the times when God feels the furthest away, when your dreams are most unreachable, when your world is falling apart the most that God is actually the closest, working all things for your good, building you a new world that is far better than anything you can imagine. His ways are surely not my ways and are so much higher than mine, and I am so thankful. I'm even more thankful that He lets me live out His plans for me, His awesome-beyond-belief plans, even when I screw up so bad and make more of a mess than is humanly possible to fix. I just love that He keeps working on me, never giving up, never settling or letting me settle for second-best, but always striving for His perfection. I love that as I trust Him more He gives me more faith to believe His Word and His promises and that makes me eligible to receive more blessings from Him and the fulfillment of all the dreams He has birthed in me that take faith to bring into existence. Ok, I'm gushing now. Sorry. I just so love being in love with Jesus. I've experienced being in love with a man, and it's a great feeling, but it is nothing compared to having a love relationship with Jesus. He never leaves, never has to second-guess His feelings for you, never disappoints you, always helps you and encourages you and helps you grow into the person God intended you to be. I don't know how to say it any other way; I'm just totally in love with Him and so, so, so grateful to Him in with me all the time. I wouldn't trade Him for anything in this world, and I wouldn't trade what He has for my life for any other plan or idea of living out there. Nothing compares to my Saviour and the life I have with Him.
I'm going to post some music. Some of it is really old songs from my childhood, but they are good songs and I'm feeling nostalgic, so here they are.
Well, this one didn't sound like this when I was a kid, but it's still good.


Classic!!!!!!

Just a good song.

To Sum Up

The past few days have been very interesting for me. Sunday was good, particularly at night. The college group from church got together and we had an old friend over. She is an older woman who just graduated from college and she was telling us all kinds of stories. It was great to hear her talk about the Lord and all the things He has done for her over the years. She was so encouraging. Monday, I had to shop and try on clothes for a performance on Tuesday. I went with some friends and actually it was fun. I must have looked at fifty dresses and actually tried on a few before I settled on one. I am way too picky to go clothes shopping! Then I had rehearsal because some of the songs for the next night were a little shaky. Got home around 10:15 and the scene at my house was crazy. There was music blasting in the living room, someone was trying to vacuum the kitchen, there were 3 or 4 girls talking and trying to do it over the music, and my house mom brought home donuts so everyone was eating. I had to laugh. The chaos was incredible! Yesterday wasn't that eventful, but I had a gig last night. It was interesting to say the least. We sang for a little over a hundred people who are part of an association of retired federal employees and they were from all over the state of Arizona. We sang from 6:30 until 7:20 and then we had to sit around and wait until the meeting was over to break down. So, me and a couple of the guys went to In-N-Out to get dinner. After eating we started the break down and loading of the equipment at 9:00 p.m. We didn't leave until around 10:30 p.m. Ya, it was a late night, but I think it was actually worth it. We were asked to perform patriotic music for the event and it was amazing to see how moved people were to hear those songs. Many of those attending had children or loved ones in the military currently serving in the war or they had served themselves for many years, so they were very appreciative of the music. When I finally dropped into bed at 12 a. m. I was exhausted, but it was nice to know that things had gone well and the night was pretty much a success. This morning I woke up feeling totally wasted, but being exhausted isn't the worse thing in the world. I finally told my family about my denial into grad school, and some of my family about a few other things that had been going on that have been weighing on my mind. I was surprised at their response. It really wasn't anything like I expected. I'm actually glad I did; it is a weight off my shoulders. Anticipating how someone is going to react to something is usually an exercise in extreme stress and I was glad to stop that exercise. So, I feel better today than I have in a long while. I have hope that things will work out in all the different things that are going on in my life right now. I am determined not to worry about tomorrow, to focus on today and live my life the best way I know how and leave the things that I can't control in the hands of Him Who can and does control all things. So, hope you all have a great day because I know I will!

Hmmmm

Well, I haven't posted in a few days and I figured I should at least write something so everyone doesn't think I fell off the face of the planet. I've been really busy, but when am I not? Actually, I've been trying to focus on some things and re-prioritize blogging is not at the top of my priorities list. I love blogging, but in the grand scheme of my life it really doesn't figure as very important. So, I took a little break and will probably take another one here soon. Most important thing right now? Deciding what to do about school. I am still waiting to hear from my graduate program and I can't really decide anything until I do. Ive been trying to formulate that what do I do if I don't get in plan, but I don't have anything solid. To tell the truth there isn't really anything else I want to do. I have never been involved in something academically that I love so much. I love the challenge, the learning, the experience with the patients. It just seems to fit me so well; I can't imagine me doing anything else and being happy with it. Everything else in my life right now is pretty much the same. I love, love, love being with my kids. They are so much fun. At times they are silly and ask interesting questions but they make my life so great. Honestly, I wish I had one of my own. I know kids are a huge responsibility, but they add so much to your life. I never really knew how to love or be loved until I started working with children. They can teach you so much about what is really important in life. Well, anyway, that is what's going on with me for the time being. If there is anything new and interesting taking place I will blog on it. Until then, hope you all are doing great.

*About Me* Favorite cartoons growing up: Spider man, or any of the marvel comics heroes, Voltron, Dennis the Menace, Loony Tunes - especially liked the Roadrunner and Wylie Coyote, X-Men, Gargoyles, Ahhh, there are too many to name! Oh well, you get the picture. Absolute favorite show growing up: The Cosby Show. There wasn't anything else like it. I also liked TGIF most of the time. Favorite Disney Cartoon: Sleeping Beauty because the fight scene between the witch and the prince was so cool.
Actually, it's hard for me to name a favorite about anything. I have favorites but it's really hard for me to narrow everything down to just one. So, I have several things that are my favorites but I don't have a single favorite.

Miscellanious Things

Well, there is actually quite a bit I want to post but I really should narrow it down. First, something I absolutely hate: old men who gawk at you or honk while you are sitting at a bus stop. Have some respect and grow up already!!!! Looking is one thing; pawing with your eyes quite another. Ok, that's my rant for the day. Now, what I most want to post is some things from my kids. I had such a good time with them today and I love reading what they write for their grammar class. Sometimes it is super silly and then sometimes they surprise me with their grasp on life. So, here are a couple poems from sixth graders that I really liked.
Upset
I'm upset.
Not break-down-the-walls upset,
Not yell-like-an-idiot upset,
Not tear-my-homework-to-shreds upset.
Just upset about life's problems,
Just wish it would go away upset.
Upset the mosquito still bites,
Upset I have to die.
I'm upset.

I'm Sad
I'm sad.
Not crying-baby sad,
Not paper-cut sad,
Not sad like a man who lost his job
But lonely sad.
Sad that I have lost someone.
Sad that I will never see that someone again.
Sad that there are other people who feel like me.

Sometimes it amazes me what children can come up with. On a lighter note, I had one of my kids tell me that all people have "imperficalties" and we all need to work on those things but not let that keep us from loving each other. It was cute, really.

*About Me* I was raised with the thinking that one day I would grow up and get married and when I did there was one special person God had for me to marry and that's who I wanted to end up with. When the time was right God would bring that person into my life and we would both know that it was God's will for us to be together and we would choose to honor that by pledging ourselves to each other. Given this view point, my parents did not believe that you should date in order to find the right person and I was never allowed to date. When I got to college I was faced with what I would do with my training and I came to a few conclusions. 1. I also believe that there really is one person out there that God has for you that is the perfect mate for you. Do I think everyone ends up with the right person? No, but I can. Think about it this way, if God has a specific plan for your life and has certain things He wants you to do during your stay here on earth, then why would who you marry not fit into this? I see marriage and your future mate as part of your destiny. I will some back to this. 2. I don't date because I don't think you need to try out a hundred different people before you arrive at the right one. If God is God and you say you have a personal relationship with Him, why can't He bring the right person into your life and show you who you are supposed to be with without you having numerous relationships before arriving at the right one? Maybe you are of the opinion that the experiences are all good and they help you become a better person, but I for one can do without the drama of breaking up and I have no desire to practice divorce. Also, how much do you really know about the people you date? From what I've seen of dating with my numerous friends that do so it is pretty much a game. You put your best foot forward so that the other person will like you and you keep that face on as long as possible until they find out who you really are and then make a decision to either stay with you or leave you. I don't need to date to do this. I'd rather get to know someone very well and then if things move in a romantic direction at least you know what you are in for with the person. I don't want to try on people like you try on clothes at the mall. I don't think that's necessary. Now to return to what I was saying about marriage being part of your destiny. If you do believe this then when you get involved with someone who you are not supposed to be with and possibly end up marrying them you are not only messing with your own destiny and creating your own problems, you are messing with that other person's destiny as well. Can you imagine knowing that you are married to someone else's intended husband or even that you are dating someone that ultimately belongs to someone else? Maybe that's not unnerving for some of you, but it certainly is for me. So, no, I don't date, and no, I'm not worried that it will keep me from getting married. Either God is real and He knows how to take care of me, including brining my husband to me, or He's not real and I need to make things happen for myself. I've tried the later; it doesn't work. I think I'll stick with the former because He's a much better odd to gamble on, and from personal experience, He always comes through.

My Crazy Mind

My crazy mind is at work again. Full of all sorts of bazaar ideas and thoughts, some logic, very little sense, and some intelligence (just enough to keep me balanced enough to not be admitted anywhere). Why is it that our minds don't have OFF buttons so that when they get out of control we can just turn them off and give ourselves a break? Oh, that would be great! Of course, then we would actually have to remember to turn them back on again and I'm not sure we could do that if they were off to begin with. Hmmmmm. There has to be a solution somewhere. My mind is about to drive me crazy!!!! All the what if's and how's and why's and all the other questions that seem to run through my mind non-stop. Then there are all the scenarios - oh, the impossible, ridiculous, just plain silly, at times very wishful scenarios that my mind can create! Trust me, it is not a pretty sight; rather confusing, chaotic and very rambling. But, oh well, that is me. I can't seem to escape it or change it, so I am learning, or trying - I don't know which is more accurate - to live with it. Although I have no wish to lose my mind entirely (even if it seems I have at times!), I do wish that it would quiet down long enough for me to think sanely and rationally. Of course then there is always the fear that I wouldn't be nearly as interesting a person, but sacrifices for sanity must be made. So, I will keep attempting to deal with this out of control animal that resides inside my skull and in the mean time you all can laugh or cry or be relatively unmoved by the workings of my mind.
Hey, side note. I learned how to post music! YAAAAA!!!! So here is a song from one of my favorite groups.


*About Me* No history today, just some general info. I am a very determined person. I won't say I'm stubborn, but I am persistent, especially in accomplishing goals. It's not that I feel like I should keep going but more that I feel the need to. When pursuing something, I have learned that I may fail several times, but if it is worth it, then keep trying and eventually you will accomplish it.

This Week

This week was. . .interesting. . . fun (in a way). . . tiresome. . . quirky. . . hmm, and I don't know what else. Overall I think it was a good week. I definitely laughed more than I have in a long while. It just seemed there were so many funny things happening around me: co-worker craziness, kids who ate way too much sugar, some stories told that were supposed to be serious but were just silly, emails with crazy videos (I need a trunk monkey now!), a nephew who was more impish than ever, and I could go on for a while, but I won't. I think my favorite story was from my sister who works the night shift in a hospital. She had a patient who had some dementia and in the middle of the night the patient, who wanted to leave but was told she couldn't (of course), decided to call 911 and report that she was being held against her will. This caused quite the ruckus in the unit and left the attending tech completely at a loss as to what to do. Ah, good stuff. My favorite thing I read this week came from one of my students (11 yrs. old) in the form of a grammar assignment. I am going to post it because I liked it so much.
Definition Poem:
Love - is a ship that carries you through the storm.
Truth - is a compass to guide you on your way.
Hope - is an anchor that will not let you drift.
Faith - is a harbor, a place to stay safe.

My favorite thing I heard this week was Bryan Adams' "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman". It is a great song musically, lyrically, and artistically. It's just beautiful.
There were other favorites but I think the best part of this week was that I was able to do so many things for so many other people and that always makes you feel good. There is just something about knowing that you are meeting some one's need or letting them know that you care about them. I'm not sure I can describe it, but it is one of the things that makes life great. Truly, it is more blessed to give than to receive.

*About Me* From age 9 to about 15 I became the world's biggest bookworm. I read everything I could get my hands on from books (any type) to magazines to text books. I was completely submerged in reading at almost every time of the day. About the only time I wasn't reading was when I was critiquing some one or something. I was very quick with come backs and very sharp tongued. My heroine was Kate in Shakespeares "Taming of the Shrew" (only I cringed that the man actually tamed her in the end). Oddly enough, there was always some humor in my critiques, so many times the people hearing them ended up laughing rather than being angry. Although this skill was fun to acquire and kept me quite entertained I learned later than it wasn't always a desireable quality in a woman nor did it speak of humility or any other Christian value.

A Silly Wish

I was thinking about my nephew this morning and started remembering when I was a kid. You know, those were fun days. I remember thinking I never wanted to grow up (sometimes I still have that wish). There is one thing, though, that I really miss, so much so I wish it would happen: A pillow fight. You know the kind where you have more than one person battling it out with pillows that don't necessarily feel soft when they are wacking you upside the head. The kind where the entire house becomes a battle ground and you aren't safe anywhere, but neither are your opponents. The kind of pillow fights that usually lead to at least an hour of hysterical laughter, amazing andrenaline rushes and just sheer entertainment. Why do we stop doing these things when we "grow up"? Really, this just shouldn't be. I know several people who could really use a nice pillow in their face or a blow to the chest that knocks the wind out of them. Hmmm. I should really stop this post, I'm getting too many ideas and feeling a bit too mischevious at the moment. Good thing there are no pillows handy at the moment.

*About Me* Because of severe vision problems, my parent took me to an eye specialist when I was 7. I had 20/80 vision in one eye and 20/16 in the other - translation: I was legally blind in one eye and using the other for all my vision. Treatment started when I was 8 and it was a long hard road of training the weak eye to see. The intense treatment lasted six years and with a very dedicated doctor, much patience, and a whole lot of prayer my vision was corrected. I went from wearing glasses 24/7 to only wearing them when my eyes were tired and needed some assistance. My doctor could only marvel at the success of the treatment. Truly, this was one of the miracles in my life.

Wednesday, Part 2

Here is the second part of this post. I read soemthing yesterday and I wanted to post it but it was too different from the content of the first post to put them together, so it has its own. I love John Donne's poetry and this particular poem is really great. I hadn't read it before, but now that I have it is one of my favorites by him.

Wilt Thou forgive that sin where I begun,

Which was my sin, though it were done before?

Wilt Thou forgive that sin through which I run,

And do run still, though still I deplore?

When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done;

For I have more.

Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I have won

Others to sin, and made my sins their door?

Wilt Thou forgive that sin which I did shun

A year or two, but wallowed in a score?

When Thou hast done, Thou hast not done;

For I have more.

I have a sin of fear, that when I've spun

My last thread, I shall perish on the shore;

But swear by Thyself that at my death Thy Son

Shall shine as He shines now and heretofore;

And having done that, Thou hast not done;

I fear no more.

How sad that I must make the same errors over and over again and refuse to give up the sins in my life that are not only a detriment to myself but those around me as well. And yet, how wonderful to know that the grace of God will keep reaching out to me, offering me forgiveness if ever I ask.

Wednesday, Part 1

Okay, so this post has two parts to it, so you have to read both parts to get the full thing. First, I finally have something funny to post. It's actually more of a humorous story than something really funny, but at least it's a start. This poem is about a 5 yr. old girl who one asked her mom where they were going when they got in car to go home. Her mother lightly responded that they were going to the moon, and the girl completely believed her. Upon pulling into her driveway, she realized that they were not going to the moon, but going home and was sadly disappointed. Her mother assured her that some day she could travel to the moon, but not that evening. The little girl was quite beside herself and really did not understand how her mother could tell her something and not mean one bit of it. She did eventually calm down, but to this day she remembers this incident.

"To the Moon"

We're goin' to the moon! My mom said so.

I got my shoes and bag; I'm ready to go.

We're getting in the car - Oh, I can't wait!

The car just started. Hold on shipmates!

Up and away; I see a star!

Here we are in the sky; the moon can be far.

Hey, wait a minute! Something is wrong.

We've been in this car WAY too long.

We're still on the street; not in the air.

And, hey, that's my house right over there.

Why'd the car stop? This isn't the moon.

No, I wanna go now, not some day soon.

You said we were goin'. You told me a lie.

I wanna go to the moon. Now I'm gonna cry.

Next time you aught to say what you mean.

Or mean what you say at the very least.

By the way, the auditions on American Idol were hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard at a TV show in a long while. I'm am amazed that people actually do that kind of thing in public. Not to mention dress the way some of them do. What were they thinking when they left their houses that day??????