Why Women Want Marriage

My Mr. Darcy asked me an interesting question today. He asked why it was that all women seemed to rush relationships towards marriage much faster than men did. It seemed to him that from the start of the relationship the woman's primary focus and goal was the official wedding day. I thought about this question a lot today. I have heard the idea espoused before but I hadn't given it much thought. Do women really respond that way in a relationship? Is their ultimate goal and all consuming purpose always their wedding day and if so, why? After having thought about it a bit and reasoning a bit I think I can say it probably is true more often than not that women do tend to rush towards marriage much quicker than men, but I wouldn't say it is the actual wedding day they are in a hurry to reach so much as the idea of security that marriage represents. In a relationship if the only commitment is a verbal conceding that there is a mutual interest and care for each person that doesn't really count for much. How many people tell their boyfriends and girlfriends how much they love them and a span of time later decide that they aren't really the person they want to spend the rest of their life with? Too many that I know of. I think most women want a sense of security and they feel that in a relationship that security isn't there until there has been a proposal and a ring given. I would argue that it isn't even the day of the wedding for which they are pushing so hard, but an actual commitment from their partner to stay with them. Somehow nothing can quite assure someone of love and devotion in a relationship like the promise of and the act of marriage . Also, there is the aspect that women want to give themselves completely to whoever it is they are with. They want to love with abandonment, be free to be themselves and still be loved, and feel that their partner is truly their own. Why would you do this without the commitment of marriage? It's risky within marriage, why would you attempt it without the commitment of the other partner to stick with the relationship? Sure, wedding days are nice to dream of and planning your wedding can be the biggest and best time of a woman's life, but I don't think that is what most women are pushing for when they say they want their man to commit. I think it is more a basic need to be reassured that they are worth the commitment of marriage and that their man is strong enough to make that commitment. Of course, in the middle of all this I can't help but wonder just a little about the issues men seem to have with commitment. They are definitely more shy about it than women. I find myself wondering if perhaps it is not that the woman is pushing too hard for a marriage but that the man is scared of the huge leap he is about to make and is afraid to commit. Not that it is a terrible thing to be hesitant in making big decisions, but every man should ask himself if it is his desire to make a wise decision that is driving him or is it fear, and as someone I know once said, fear is never from God. So, Mr. Darcy, in answer to your question, for most women it is not a day they are rushing towards, but a commitment and with it the security and fulfillment it brings.

A Period Conversation

I know I already posted for the day but that desire to rant returned and I can't resist the urge. Warning: if you are a man and grow squeamish at the discussion of female issues you should read no further. Ok, my rant - I hate, hate, HATE the first day of a menstrual period. Not that the following six days are great, but the first day is usually hell on earth. I hate that you are ravenously hungry for that one day and then for the rest of your period the sight of food is nauseating. I hate that, if you're like me, a nice migraine begins to form and before you know it the world around you is spinning, your head is pounding, and all that food you have eaten suddenly begins to creep back up your esophagus. I hate that your hormones decide to express themselves with a horrible breakout of the worst acne you've seen in, well, a month. I hate that you are excessively tired, which makes functioning normally a very difficult thing to do. I hate that waves of emotions seem to wash over you like tides on the beach and at any given moment you feel that your life is completely out of sorts, everything is a gigantic insurmountable problem, and you just want to sit down and cry. I hate the horrible aching that grips your pelvis and the terrible cramps that feel like someone is inside you scraping your insides out. I hate the general gross feeling that comes over you. I especially hate those days when you have to take medication just to keep functioning Let's see, is there anything else I can complain about? I think the above list will suffice for now. No, it's not always that bad the first day, but it is never great either. It is the one day of every month that I dread and I'm just glad I have another month before I have to deal with it again.
To those who just read this and wished they hadn't, sorry. To those I snapped at, ignored, or was moody with today, I'm sorry. I promise to be better tomorrow.

Everyday News

Well, this week has been pretty good thus far. I was going to post a few rants I had but I find that I simply don't have the energy to do it now that I am sitting at the computer. I've been busy as usual and I have thrown trying to eat right and exercising into my daily mix, so I'm a bit worn out, not to mention I have muscle aches from muscles I didn't know I had. But, I'm not complaining. I do actually feel pretty good all around and I find that I am quite content at this point in my life. There are things that I am having to deal with, like learning what love is and how that is supposed to be worked out in your life, and I have my struggles (yes, patience is a virtue and very necessary), but God has been so good to me and those around me that I find myself in awe of Him on a regular basis. His love is so perfect, His grace is so wonderful, His mercy long-lasting, and His blessings so bountiful. Truly, God has been only good to me. Even when my life feels crazy and there seems to be so much in it that is frustrating or hard, if I can just keep my focus on Him He will take care of everything. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5,6
I love that Scripture. Since the Lord has been talking to me so much recently about trusting Him and letting Him work instead of me trying to do everything I have found such peace when I really do trust in and lean on Him, and so much turmoil when I do the opposite. I am also glad that when I am struggling with doing what is right and making those hard right decisions He is always faithful to help me out. I can see more and more each day that it is really Christ Who is living and working in me to work out His will for my life and that is my only hope of glory, my hope of success.

Catching Up

I know it's been almost a week since I last posted. I'm sorry. My life has been so crazy! School started and that means I now have homework to do as well as a hectic performance and rehearsal schedule. This weekend I was super busy. Highlights: I went to a makeup party Sunday night for a friend's birthday and OMG, now I am absolutely POSITIVE I am not a girly-girl. I was dying the almost three hours I was there. There were probably thirty women in one house and most of them were over 30. They were some of the silliest women I have ever been around. It was truly a "hen party". At the end there was some relief when a woman who was really funny started clowning around with a couple of wigs. She was hilarious and made the last 30 minutes a total blast. I was laughing non-stop. But, of course, she wasn't a part of the really giggly, silly stuff that the other women seemed to find so entertaining, so, she was definitely more my type of woman. I then went home and watched the best movie I have seen all year, "The Ultimate Gift". It was such a good movie I would see it again. It made me cry! No, I wasn't bawling, but I was teary-eyed. Of course some of that might have been due to the fact that I was missing someone horribly and desperately wanted to be with him. Monday, was another interesting day. I got up rather early and made myself get dressed up so my sister could shoot pictures of me. She said she needed more images for her photography business and I said I would help her. So, after a shower, too much time picking out something to wear, putting on a mask of make-up, and fighting with my mane of hair to get it looking descently, we embarked on our quest: looking for a good place to take pictures. After three different places and traveling across town we succeeded in getting a few. Her words: I got a couple of good ones. Sheesh!!!! What I do for family! Anyway, the rest of the day was spent in various trips to the store, doing some homework, and spending way too much money. At night I went for a girls night out with my friends and we saw "Becoming Jane", which I absolutely loved. It was sad but it was so good. Afterwards we went over to a friends house and hung out for a little while. It was nice to have down time with my friends. So, today I am a little tired and will be busy once again, but that seems to be my life's course, so I am fine with it. Well, it didn't take too long to catch up and maybe this week I can stay more current (fingers crossed).