Pop Culture

For those of you who stubble upon or may read this blog with any sort of regularity and are at all connected with the pop culture of our day, this post is for you. These are just a few takes on the happenings of the day's most up-front and current events. First, American Idol. I will admit that I have watched a few seasons of the show, although the first and third seasons are the only two that I watched on a regular basis. Mostly, I watched the auditions to have a good laugh and then didn't really pay attention to the rest of the show because there wasn't much to watch. I find that very few of the contestants are really talented and even fewer have anything that makes them distinctive as a musician or performer. The first season was all about finding someone different, but I guess the show forgot its purpose because it has churned out mediocre pop musicians for the last six years. That's not to say that there is no one talented or musically unique on the show. There have been a handful of promising musicians and singers who have emerged as a result of the show, but the show itself is so overdone and commercialized now that I find it hard to watch. Ranting done, my point of contention for this post is the current group of "idols" who are vying for the crown. I have not heard one of them that is truly amazing to listen to or watch, and, yes, I have watched at least two shows this season. The main person talked about and the one who seems to be the media darling of this season is David Archuleta. I don't see the big deal. He is an alright singer who looks like a boy parading as a man except for when he decides to grow a beard and tousle his hair, per last night's show, in which case he looks like a dejected mountain man who was forced to put on clothes. I'm not seeing the draw to this guy, but if he "speaks" to you, who am I to judge? Then there is the absolutely ridiculous show "Farmer Takes a Wife" in which a young farmer has a group of city girls stay on his farm and perform various tasks while he takes stock of them and decides which one he wants. Silly, I know, but someone thinks it's entertainment. Poor premise for a show aside, the things that are said on this show are unbelievable. This week he apparently asked them to help with the usual farm chores and there was quite the upheaval. From the looks of it, most of the girls didn't perform very well and when one of them was booted off the show her remarks were scathing yet absurd. She was mad that the farmer had picked them flowers rather than buying them flowers, mad that he had asked them to help on the farm, and most of all mad that he expected them to be something more than a trophy wife. She said that he couldn't offer them any sort of real life, only hard work and an unpleasant situation. LOL!!!!!! What planet is this girl living on???? Of course the show is retarded. Aren't all these shows where some poor lonely heart has to sift through a group of desperate would-be spouses to find a mate? But at least the farmer understood that if he was going to marry someone she better be able to handle the kind of life that he lived. He wanted to know if any of these girls could really handle being married to him. Uh oh. Didn't he get the memo that these shows are not about that at all? They're about entertainment, not real life. Someone better pull him aside and inform him quick! He might run off too many girls and then be left on his own to find a worthwhile life-partner. Wonder how that would go. :0 Next on the list - Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. Who cares if these two got married???? Honestly, what difference does it make? Will it affect her career as a pop star or his as an actor? Doubtful. The only thing it does is create a buzz for about a week and then it dies. Sorry, Mariah, but I think you will have to try harder than that if you want to make a big splash. As for fellow pop diva Britney Spears, all I can say is ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! Can't we leave this girl alone? I'm sure she would appreciate it and I know most of the rest of us would to. Let the girl recover and at least attempt to regain control of her life, and let us move on and focus on something that really deserves attention, like the outrageous photos of Miley Cyrus. Is there no decency left in the entertainment world? What were the photographers thinking? Why would you take such suggestive shots of a 15 year old girl? Are you wanting to market her in the child porn industry? Of course she has apologized profusely for the photos and her parents have declared that they were not aware of them being taken, but, come one! Why weren't you aware? In my opinion, no one should be marketing their body to make their music sell, but certainly no one under the age of 18 should be allowed or encouraged to do so. What makes even less sense is that it was totally unnecessary. The girl is already worth an incredible amount of money and her popularity was a set thing. There was no reason to take these photos, much less publish them. This one definitely left a bad taste in my mouth and hopefully we will not be seeing anything like it too often. Perhaps I should stop there for now. I could go on about bad TV shows and terrible movies, but I will spare you. I think this post holds enough opinions for one day. ;)

The Bell

At work there is a desk bell that sits on one of the service counters and is there so that in case we don't see a customer standing at the counter they can ring the bell and let us know they are there. Now, I HATE this bell. It is one of the most obnoxious things I have ever come across. It rings so many times in a day that I sometimes hear it ring when there is no one there and a few times I have heard it in my sleep at night. As I said before, I HATE this bell. But, that is life and it is a part of my job, so, I cheerfully continue on, answering the bell every time it dings. However, there is something that I cannot abide - rude customers. There seem to be several medical students and medical office personnel who insist on ringing the bell twice or even three times if you do not appear at the counter within 1 second of their ringing the bell. And then there are those who insist on ringing the bell when they can clearly see that you are on the phone and cannot attend to them at that moment. How rude and inconsiderate is that?!?!?!?! Does working in a medical building or being a med student give you the right to mistreat people? I often want to ask them how they would like it if I stood there at the counter and kept ringing the bell at them. However, it is my job to be friendly and polite. That means that I cannot really comment on the poor behavior of these rude bell ringers. I simply have to smile at them and help them. Every now I and then I will politely let them know that I heard the bell the first time, but that is only when the behavior is very much out of order. Otherwise I just breathe deeply and plaster at least a half-smile on my face and ask them what it is I can help them with. I know the bell is necessary, but how I wish there was another way. I am always thankful for those customers who are so reticent to ring the bell and apologize profusely for doing so. They are good customers. I wish they would rub off on the others who so desperately need something to rub off on them. Oh, well. I'll quit ranting now.

Why?

The most overused question in the world is "why?", and yet I find it is so appropriate for so many things. There are so many situations in which this question seems to be the only response that you can come up with. I'm not sure how other people's minds and sense of reasoning works but mine works best when I understand what is going on and why it is happening. When I don't understand something my first response is usually "why?" Why do people that say they love you do things to intentionally hurt you? Why do things that seem so simple at times can make the biggest impact on you? Why are some people so loving and caring for no apparent reason while other are so mean and spiteful for the same reason? Why are crazy people allowed to hold positions of power and use their authority to hurt and threaten others? Why are so many people too cowardly to stand up for what is right and so willing to ignore what is wrong? Why is it always easier to do what is wrong that to do what is right? (wait, I already know the answer to that) Why is love such a wonderful thing and yet such a painful thing? Why is hate such a horrible thing and yet such a gratifying thing (at least at certain moments)? Why is it so hard for so many people to understand where you are coming from and what you are trying to say and why is it so hard to effectively communicate it? I could go on for a lifetime, but I think I've made my point. There are so many questions out there, and it would seem too few answers. It is overwhelming at times and I feel as though asking the questions is pointless, but then that wouldn't really solve the problem because the questions are there whether I ask them or not and that means that somewhere the answers are there as well. I guess, that would mean then that my getting answers all depends on whether or not I am willing to keep hunting for the answers to my questions, knowing that even if I were to arrive at all the answers there would still be a multitude more questions that would then need to be answered as well because there will always be situations and circumstances that arise that evoke the only possible response of "why?" Does any of this make sense? Hmm. I think I started to say one thing and wound up saying something else. Oh well. Food for thought. :)

Update

I realize I haven't updated in a while. Sorry. My life has been busy and good computer access has been scarce. There isn't too much that has changed since I did last update. I'm still looking for a new job but it doesn't look likely that I will have one until after the first of the year. I am formulating a plan for attending graduate school including looking at applying to several schools out of state. I will retake the GRE after the first of the year and probably take a few classes next year. No great adventures planned, no ingenious plots hatched. After this year, however, that will be a nice break. This year has been wild and crazy for me and has brought about some major changes. There have been some very painful experiences but also some very good times. I feel like I have grown an exceptional amount, especially in the past few months, and I am finally able to experience things I have been waiting a lifetime to experience. I am thrilled at all the changes and saddened by some of the results, but that seems to be the cycle of life. All you can do is keep moving on and doing your best. For the first time in my life I don't know where I am going or how I am going to get there, and that is okay. I have a general idea of things I want to accomplish and goals I want to meet, but the how or why of those things is still unanswered and, unlike what I normally feel, that doesn't scare me. I am content right now to sit back and enjoy the ride on this crazy course called life.

Ramblings

Today is the first day it has actually felt like fall here in Tucson. There was a slight rain early this morning, the sky is overcast and the temperature is slightly warmer than cool. All I can say is FINALLY! I've been waiting for weeks for this and I am so glad it is finally here. My two favorite times of the year in Tucson are fall and spring. You can't beat the weather and everything looks better too. So, the year is wrapping itself up rather quickly and I am still shaking my head wondering where all the time went. This has been quite the year for me. Amazing doesn't even begin to sum it up, but it does give it a good start. At this present moment I feel like I have been given a brand new chance at life, a chance to live out all my dreams and not be held back by anything other than my own mistakes and shortcomings. Perhaps that seems strange for some of you but, trust me, this is a new situation for me to be in. I am totally independent for the first time in my life and while slightly unnerving, it is also very liberating. I am admittedly a little frightened at this great big world I live in knowing that I am doing and experiencing so many things that are new, but strangely, I have a quiet confidence that I can do this, that the Lord is helping me every step of the way and that I will be a success. I have to pause here a moment and say that the Lord has been so good to me the past few weeks. He is always so incredibly good to me, but especially in the past two weeks, He has done so much more for me than I ever expected. He has given me people to care for me and help me at one of the lowest points of my life and He has provided my every need sometimes before I ask or in ways I never thought possible. He is such a great God and I love Him so much and am so thankful for Him and in awe of Who He is. For those of you who read this and know what I am referencing, I have to say a special thank you to you as well. I wouldn't have been able to come through everything I've come through without you. You've been great and I couldn't ask for better friends.

Me. . .For Now

I had so many things I wanted to write floating through my head, and now that I am sitting at the computer I can't seem to put my thoughts into words. I could talk of my plans for the future and where I think I will be in a couple years, or about all the good things the Lord is doing in my life, or about all the funny things that have happened in my life over the past few days. There really has been so much going on. I didn't know for a couple of days there whether or not I was going to post because of all the things going on and how overwhelming things seemed to be. I wanted to just post music, but that didn't work. I either couldn't find the songs I wanted or I couldn't find songs that said what I wanted them to say. I have had several really good days and several really bad days. I don't want to say my life is terrible; that just isn't true; but this is one of the hardest times of my life. I am finding that it is a chore to get out of bed every morning and make myself face another day. It takes me about two hours to compose myself enough to handle whatever comes my way. I'm not totally out of sorts, just exhausted - mentally, physically, emotionally. I won't say spiritually because I don't think that's true. My relationship with the Lord has never been so good as it is right now. I am closer to Him than I have ever been and He is more real, more precious than He has ever been. I'm in sort of a strange state of mind. I am not sad, yet there is a side of me that is grieving. I can still laugh and do so rather frequently, yet crying is a daily occurrence. I am at peace, yet frustrations are still present. There is so much around me that encourages me to give up on everything, yet my faith is still resolute, although it seems to be with a strength not my own. I feel like I have been thrown into some sort of fire that I have to live through for the next little while; as though I am being tested in some way or another. I am not afraid of failing the test so long as I keep my eyes fixed on the Author and Perfecter of our faith; but I am afraid that my eyes will drift and my focus will shift to something that is less sure, less steady, and less able to help me endure. I feel as though I am fighting a battle every day and some days there are victories and some days I have to retreat, but every day I must fight, no matter what the outcome, and with each day I feel my Saviour helping me grow stronger, helping me be victorious. Every day I learn more and more to lean on Him and let Him fight for me when I cannot fight and help me fight when I have the strength to do so. As each struggle comes and goes and He molds me into what He wants me to be I find that I trust Him more and more and rely on Him to perform His perfect work in me as I sit back patiently and watch Him make something wonderful of my life.
These words to an old song keep rolling around in my head and I find that they make a very appropriate prayer for me right now:
I am weak but Thou art strong.
Jesus keep me from all wrong.
I'll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee

Just a closer walk with Thee.
Grant it Jesus; it's my plea.
Daily walking close to Thee.
How I pray, Oh Lord, I'll walk with Thee.

Through this world of toils and snares
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who will all my burdens share?
None but Thee, Oh Lord, none but Thee.

Just a closer walk with Thee.
Grant it Jesus; it's my plea.
Daily walking close to Thee.
How I pray, Oh Lord, I'll walk with Thee.

The Simple and the Complex

I am always amazed at how the simple things in life can change your whole perspective of things. A smile from someone can brighten your whole day, a simple song can lift your spirits, something as easy as letting someone know you care about them can have a huge impact on someone's life. In my life I have noticed that it is usually the small things that let you know someone really cares about you. Everyone wants someone to make the huge sacrifices for them, to perform the amazing feats that prove they are really loved. But, really, it takes more effort to perform the small menial tasks, the everyday in-and-outs that show more love and care than making that one huge sacrifice. It takes more effort and love to show someone you care about them 365 days a year for countless years than it does to spend a short amount of time making some colossal statement of affection.
Likewise, it is a wonder to me how something that seems so simple is in actuality complex. Take love for example. So many people talk about it and make assertions about it that it would seem it is a subject easily explained and an emotion easily describes. Nothing could be further from the truth. Love is so deep, so complex it is a wonder anyone tries to explain it. I certainly feel inadequate to do so, and so, won't attempt. I could talk of the various aspects and facets of love, the wrongs and rights of love, but I would never come close to saying anything that even summed up love. It seems it should be easy to express, easy to experience, easy to give, but it is not. It is complex. Fortunately, there are simple ways to express such a complex emotion, and for that I am grateful because sometimes the simple way is the most effective way of doing something.

Tagged

Ok, so I was tagged a few days ago by the Queen of Non Sequitur and have been super slow about responding. So sorry. So, now I am responding.
The Rules:
1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I grew up being more of a boy than a girl. I played with G. I. Joe's, climbed trees, scraped my knees, got stitches numerous times, and abhorred wearing skirts. (And people wonder why I have issues today!)

2. I have a hard time having a favorite anything. I can have several favorites, but ruling out all else to hold onto one single favorite is nigh unto impossible for me. There are so many things I like it is hard to narrow it down. I can, however, tell you very specific things that I hate.

3. I pick up accents very easily. I have family from Texas and when I spend time out there it takes two days, max, before I am talking just like them. I have found this to be true no matter who I am around. I usually end up mimicking their accent, whatever it is.

4. I dislike most traditional American meals. Turkey dinners and roast with potatoes and carrots are not appealing to me at all. I much prefer food from another culture, almost any other culture.

5. I am still in love with the idea that one day my prince will walk into my life and sweep me off my feet and there really will be a happily ever after. Yes, I am delusional at times.

6. I like sitting down on a rainy day and writing poetry. It just feels so much like the right thing to do.

7. I am very impish (if you don't know what that is look it up). I absolutely love being mischievous. I don't like hurting people, but I love having a good laugh at them or with them.

8. If you ask me to do something, such as write these eight random things, I will be at a total loss as to what to say. But, if you let me come up with on my own I won't be able to stop writing.

So, I'm not sure that was very affective at all, but there it is. I know one person to tag and that is the Unknown Poet.

Thunderstorm

I was at my mom's house today for a couple of hours before I had to go play for my children's choir at a performance. The afternoon was nice and I hadn't spent any length of time at my mom's in quite a while, so I was enjoying my time. The time to leave came and I had noticed that it was raining, but being that it is monsoon season here I didn't really pay attention to what was going on outside. I was dressed and ready to go about 10 minutes early and that's when I decided to look out the window and see what the weather was like. It was pouring rain, heavy rain. I could hardly see across the street the rain was so thick. Then the lightning and thunder started. The lighning was right above us making the thunder crack very loud and intimidating. I wondered how we were going to go outside and get in the car without being soaked. We decided to wait an extra 10 minutes before venturing out, hoping the storm would die down a bit. Nothing doing. It got worse. So, we started trying to figure out a way to get in the car without getting completely sopped. I had no umbrella and I was in a dress. Interesting scenario. I grabbed a towl and decided to make a run for the car. Now, I can't really run because my knee is still healing from the car accident last week, and I didn't really want to slip on the very wet front porch with its stairs that were a temporary waterfall. I carefully made my way to the car, getting very wet in the process, hoping to avoid the now very frequent strikes of lighting overhead. I step into the street to go around the car and get in the passenger seat and the water came half-way to my knees. Yes, the streets were flooded and it was still raining very heavily. I was thoroughly wet when I managed to get in the car. We then carefully drove down the street. Everywhere we went the streets were flooded and the cars looked like they were going to float down the street. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I haven't seen a rainstorm like that since I was a little kid. It reminded me of the year the Santa Cruz River overflowed and we were stuck on the west side of it for a couple of days until it finally drained enough for us to cross it and go home. After arriving at our destination 20 minutes late I counted the time it took to get in the car and to the performance: 1 hour. Crazy! It was an awesome storm to watch, though. One of the kids in the choir commented that they were pretty sure the drought was over. I think I agree with them. Hurray for the return of real Arizona monsoons!!!!!

Highlights

Ok, so I am not going to post anything great today, maybe tomorrow I will feel brilliant and desire to write something both enlightning and entertaining. For today you will have to settle for highlights from the past few days. Highlights from the weekend: swimming for the first time in a year, hanging out with my friends and just relaxing, getting interested in the Hebrew language and how the Bible was originally written, church on Sunday (one word - awesome!!!!), relief and peace from a very difficult situation. Highlights for this week: being with my nephew and singing Veggie Tales songs as we rolled down the grocery store aisles, hearing him tell me he loves me and then giving me kisses and hugs, a thunderstorm yesterday (love the smell of rain), playing with my nephew in the water/mud and letting him give me a mud bath (literally, I was covered from head to toe in good old Arizona dirt!), planning my vacation with my mom. You know, it's funny, but I've grown closer to my mom in the past four weeks than I have ever been. It's funny how life changes you and how relationships change. I know it's probably a bit late but I have really started viewing myself as a complete adult recently and I think it has helped me with my mom. I am starting to relate to her as an adult and not just the "mom" who always tells me what to do. I know, I know, it seems I'm a bit old to be realizing this, but I don't feel too bad. I had to grow up so fast in so many ways when I was a kid. I'm not really all that sad that it has taken me some time to grow up in at least one area. Anyway, these are some things I have experienced in the past few days. I promise to blog on something of worth tomorrow and even if it's not something of worth at least you know you can always stop here and get a healthy dose of zaniness.

*About Me* I have a hard time telling people that I love them. I don't have a hard time loving them, just letting them know that is the case. I have an uncle to whom I am very close and he was the first person to help me break this habit. I used to talk to him at least once a week (he lived in a different state) and at the end of every phone call he used to tell me he loved me. I would never return the favor, but he didn't let that stop him. He just kept it up until one day I managed to get the words out that seemed so hard to say, "I love you too." Today I am much better at that, but it is still hard for me. I feel like those words carry a committment with them and should only be spoken in complete sincerity and honesty. I don't tell many people that I really care about them, I try to show them, but saying, "I care about you" or "I love you" are not phrases that slip easily from my mouth. Maybe that's not a good thing, but at least those that I have told know I mean it with all my heart and it's not a superficial passing feeling, it is a committment to them.

Wandering Thoughts

I got home a little late tonight, and I am completely exhausted. Not really sure why seeing as I had nearly 8 hours of sleep last night, but I am. I've been working all day and now I just want to relax. My neice is playing the piano and she sounds like a concert pianist. I love that her years of lessons have paid off because I get to enjoy an hour of nice music several times a week. Tonight she is playing an arrangement of the hymn "Blessed Assurance". I love the song anyway, but the arrangement is really beautiful as well. It makes me want to sing the song. There is something about music that I just can't escape. It has this unbelievable ability to transport me to another world in what seems to be only moments. I can't even really explain it but it goes beyond merely enjoying the music; the music has such an affect on me. It can alter my state of mind or my attitude or can provide such an outlet for releasing whatever it is going on inside me. Ah, the power of music, good music that is.
There are other thoughts running through my head tonight. Like, I miss speaking Spanish. Quiero hablarlo pero no hay nadie quien hablar conmigo. Hoy, cuando tratando hablarlo, no me recuerdo muchas cosas y no peudo hablar muy bien. Que triste! Me gusto mucho hablando espanol. I used to speak with someone almost every day and now I never use it and I'm losing it. What's really sad it that there are some things that Spanish allows you to say that English just doesn't, and besides there are so many things that sound better in Spanish!
I was asked again this week what the status of my love life was and then what my goals are for the future. Normally those two things wouldn't have too much to do with each other, but in my case they seem to be directly linked. For whatever reason I can't seem to settle on any plans for the future that don't include marriage, but there are absolutely no prospects in sight at the moment. Although I do enjoy being single, I am not getting any younger and I can't help but feel like the pause button has been pushed and I haven't started to really live my life. Part of this I call the feeling-like-a-student-for-the-rest-of-your-life mentality. Most people go to college, get out and live their lives. Not me. I'm still here and still feel like I'm a kid waiting to grow up in so many ways. Oh well, I guess that can have its good points, so I will resign myself to keep on enjoying where I am currently at.
Well, this post is starting to sound a little crazy and confusing so I think I will stop it here. Maybe in the next few days I will post things that are a little more coherent or at least truly interesting.

*About Me* My high school career as a student was a disaster. I went to summer school every summer for four years and I still graduated late. It wasn't that I made bad grades; I just didn't do the homework. Math was really hard for me and most of the other subjects bored me. There were a couple that I liked and I actually did excel in a few, but most of the time I did what I wanted to and not what I needed to and I paid for it later. The one thing I can say is that I learned a very good lesson my senior year. I dug myself into quite a pit and didn't think I was going to make it to graduation. Instead of my mom trying to make it easy for me she told me that if I was going to finish it would be up to me. There were many things that happened that year, far too many to relate here, but I can tell you that by the time April rolled around I wanted to graduate more than anything. I spent 4 months straight getting 2 and 3 hours of sleep every night and working almost non-stop throuhgout the day. I completed a year's worth of work in a few months. I did get help with my studies when I needed it and Lord knows I was praying every day even if just to make it through the day, but it was really a time where I was faced with making some necessary life changes and I am so thankful today that I made those changes. I know that God was more than gracious to me and helped me with so many things even when things seemed so impossible or insurmountable. There were many a night when it was just me and Him sitting at my kitchen table trying to figure out all the theorems and rules of geometry and how each one applied to the problem I was working on. Or when I had so many papers due and I really didn't have a clue what to write or how to format it. There were so many things that happened. It was a time of great need in my life but it was also a time of great experiences with the Lord.