A Living Sacrifice

I came to the altar of the Lord and brought with me my sacrifice. It was something very valuable to me; something I didn't want to give up; but it would seem that was what the Lord required of me. So, I reluctantly but willfully knelt at the altar and laid my treasure on it. The tears stung my face as I let go of what I wanted to so desperately to hold onto, but I was comforted by the thought that the Lord would be satisfied with the enormous sacrifice I had just made. With my offering complete I stood up and slowly walked away from the smoke and ashes that were all that remained of my incinerated offering. I felt that surely, now I had pleased the Lord; I had given Him all He asked of me; but, alas, I was mistaken. For, you see, what the Lord required of me was not my offerings but myself. He did not want me to lay things from my life on the altar for Him to consume a little at the time. He wanted me to lay myself on the altar and not get up. He wanted obedience from me rather than a sacrifice. He wanted me and nothing less. The pull to return to the altar and lay myself upon it was growing stronger, but the resistance to it was rising up in me with a fury that grew stronger with each passing minute. Did I really want to give up my entire self to the Lord? Was that really what He required of me? Why couldn't I remain as was - a child of God who enjoyed the blessings of God and sacrificed here and there as I saw fit or necessary? What was wrong with my way of life? Why did I need to change? I was a good Christian, I had strong values and high standards and tried to live up to those things. Why was the Lord demanding more of me? This wasn't fair! I had already given so much of myself to Him; why would He ask for more? Wasn't my commitment good enough? Weren't my sacrifices and works pleasing to Him? I had already given more of myself than most people would ever consider giving. Did I really have to do this? All of my questions were to no avail. The Holy Spirit would not let me go. I knew that what the Lord wanted was me, all of me, and He would not accept no for an answer. As I turned and faced the altar again there was a fearsome battle raging on the inside of me. With each step towards the altar I heard the voice of the Lord prompting me forward and the reasonings of my mind pulling me back. I finally stopped in my tracks and knelt in prayer. I knew that what the Lord was asking of me was right, and I wanted to be obedient, but I knew I could not do so on my own. I asked the Lord to help me make that long trek to the altar and help me lay myself on it. Suddenly, I was reminded of my Savior and His sacrifice for me. He laid Himself on the altar for me. He gave Himself, holding nothing back, and suffered as the ultimate sacrifice for me. As I recalled the things He suffered on my behalf and realized the blessings I had received as a result of His suffering I was filled with a renewed sense of love for my Jesus. That love drove me to my feet and started me once again on my walk to the altar. I knew that I was still unable to make this sacrifice on my own, but my love for my Lord drove me to obedience and the Spirit of Jesus in me gave me the strength to press on. As I continued on a vision of my Lord was implanted in my mind and I focused on that, finding that when I looked at Him I lost sight of all else and my mind was set on pleasing Him. Finally, I arrived yet again at the front of the altar. This time it was not a sacrifice of things that I placed on it, but myself. I surrendered myself to the Lord, lay myself down, and bound myself to the altar, never to get up.
Romans 12
I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.

So Good

I know I already posted for the day but I just had to post the words to this song.

"I Will Arise and Go to Jesus"
Come ye sinners poor and needy
weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.

I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms.
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh there are ten thousand charms.

I love this song. It has meant so much to me these past few days. I can't even begin to tell you how much the Lord has blessed me in these past few days, but it is beyond description how good He has been. He has become more precious to me than anything and my desire for Him has become all-consuming. What a mighty, awesome, wonderful God I serve!

The Simple and the Complex

I am always amazed at how the simple things in life can change your whole perspective of things. A smile from someone can brighten your whole day, a simple song can lift your spirits, something as easy as letting someone know you care about them can have a huge impact on someone's life. In my life I have noticed that it is usually the small things that let you know someone really cares about you. Everyone wants someone to make the huge sacrifices for them, to perform the amazing feats that prove they are really loved. But, really, it takes more effort to perform the small menial tasks, the everyday in-and-outs that show more love and care than making that one huge sacrifice. It takes more effort and love to show someone you care about them 365 days a year for countless years than it does to spend a short amount of time making some colossal statement of affection.
Likewise, it is a wonder to me how something that seems so simple is in actuality complex. Take love for example. So many people talk about it and make assertions about it that it would seem it is a subject easily explained and an emotion easily describes. Nothing could be further from the truth. Love is so deep, so complex it is a wonder anyone tries to explain it. I certainly feel inadequate to do so, and so, won't attempt. I could talk of the various aspects and facets of love, the wrongs and rights of love, but I would never come close to saying anything that even summed up love. It seems it should be easy to express, easy to experience, easy to give, but it is not. It is complex. Fortunately, there are simple ways to express such a complex emotion, and for that I am grateful because sometimes the simple way is the most effective way of doing something.

My Savior's Embrace

Summary: In the past few days I have been attacked by my closet suffering injuries that were minor but painful, spent time with my nephew who is absolutely the cutest things on the face of the planet, cleaned out my storage unit and part of my closet which opened my eyes to how much junk I had laying around (it was bad!!!), helped decorate my church for the coming fall season, and been completely and totally overwhelmed by the grace and love of my Savior. There's been more, but that about sums it up.

Reflection: I am in love with someone for the first time in my life and, unfortunately, I can't be with him. This is hard, very hard to deal with. There are days when I wonder how I am going to get through the whole day, there are times when the feelings are so overwhelming I can't do anything but lay down and cry. I want to be near him, to hold him, to have his arms around me making me feel so secure and so loved. I want to hear his voice, feel him next to me, and know he's mine His embrace is not possible right now, but I have found some relief. The arms of my Savior hold me when I can't go on, embrace me when the hurt is so bad it seems it will never stop. When I don't know what to pray or the pain is so great I can't speak I can lean back on Him, letting His love surround me, heal me, fill me with hope and, yes, even joy. His arms are so strong and loving that nothing can pull me from them and nothing can harm me when I am resting in them. The Bible calls Jesus the lover of your soul and God your husband. His love is true, never failing, always available, and His embrace is what satisfies me, even when I long for the arms of another. Only Jesus can fill the voids, the longings, the desires that well up from deep within me and threaten to overwhelm me. He always gives me beauty for ashes and the oil of joy for mourning and I love Him so much.