About a month and a half ago I told a good friend of mine that I felt like I was getting ready to face a storm in my life. I just had this sense of needing to prepare myself to deal with some things that would be coming up, things that would be difficult to handle. As the week has passed, that feeling has turned out to be very true. I am in the midst of a giant storm. The winds are howling like crazy around me. The lighting and thunder are so fierce they make me tremble. Everywhere I look things are being uprooted and/or destroyed. Rain is soaking every inch of ground surrounding me.
I bet, right about now, you are thinking something along the lines of how terrible this is. Perhaps you're feeling sympathy for me or thinking that you need to pray more for me. While I welcome the prayers (I always do!), I want to reassure you that this is not a terrible thing. I am content where I am.
When I was a little girl growing up in Arizona, the summer monsoon storms were terrific. Big black clouds would roll in over the mountains some time in the late afternoon, producing incredible lighting and thunder claps that shook you to the very core. Huge gusts of wind would churn through the valley, knocking over trees, ripping through fences, sweeping up anything that was loose or weakly attached to something. Rain would come in torrential waves, soaking the ground and filling up the washes in just a few minutes. It was truly an amazing spectacle to watch, and I loved it. I loved the action of the storm and the smell of the rain. Most of all, though, I loved the newness of the earth after the storm had ended. Everything felt clean and washed out. Some things looked forever changed. Nothing was left untouched by the storm.
I have to admit, in my own life I have been afraid of the storms. I have not looked for them with the same anticipation I looked for those Arizona monsoons; and I've asked myself why. Is it because walking through the storms in my life is that much scarier than riding out a ferocious display of natural occurrences? Or is it as basic as the fact physical storms allow us a tangible world to perceive and interact with while life storms are relegated to the world of the mind and heart, a world which is confusing and cannot be ever truly known? I don't know. I could philosophize about it, but the short answer is - I don't know.
Just as I don't know why I have been afraid of the storms in my life, I don't know why, exactly, the storm I am currently in has ceased to scare me. I could say it is a result of my life experiences or a result of my strong faith, but I have a hard time believing that is really the answer. What I do believe might be the answer, though, is I have come to realize the value of storms in life. In realizing that storms are valuable and can accomplish something good, I have come to see the effects of the storm in a different light.
The winds that are howling all around me remind me of the peace and calm I have received as a result of my relationship with Jesus Christ. The lightning and thunder are a constant depiction of the awesomeness and wonder of the Creator who not only created those things but orders each step of my life and has allowed this storm to overtake me. There are definitely things being destroyed and uprooted around me, but some of those things are long overdue for a good makeover. False ideologies, foolish ideas, shallow goals and ambitions, incorrect beliefs and perceptions are a few of the things I can see being uprooted and destroyed. The rain that is falling all around me is refreshing and brings with it the hope for cleansing and a new life.
I am not afraid of this storm; I am facing it head on and hoping that I will come out of it a new person, cleaned out and ready for another chance at life. I do not know what this storm will bring nor how much I will lose before it is over, but I know Him who walks with me through it, and I am confident that His love will continually cover me and He will guide me through. I cannot control the storm, but I can be thankful for it and be open to it.
