The Girl, Part 3

The girl had thought about returning to her home many times. She spent time remembering her favorite spots in the castle, her favorite things to do, and her favorite people to spend time with. She missed her family and the things that were familiar to her. Perhaps she would travel back just for a visit. At least she would be able to see her family and maybe the visit would help clear her mind, give her some sense of direction, some idea of where she could really find the answers to her questions. Going home, returning to the castle definitely seemed like a good idea. She packed her bags, just taking a few things with her. After all, she was going to return. The trip home was only a short one; she wouldn't make a final decision until after her visit. She gathered her things and started back towards the castle. Along the road she met several people. She interacted with them, asking questions, being her usual curious self. She didn't really know for sure what she would accomplish from continuing to ask the questions that filled her mind. No one seemed to know how to answer them; but still she hoped that there were answers, and so she kept asking. While she traveled she also spent time reflecting on her life. She looked back to her childhood, as far back as she could remember. She made herself remember as much as she could, both the good and the bad. There were certainly many good memories to be had, but there were also some very unpleasant ones. She remember the strict hold the castle dwellers had over her life. She remembered the hard tedious schedule she had to fulfill every day. The girl began to be troubled. Perhaps she wasn't quite ready to go home yet, but she was already on the road that led there. She had already traveled many days. No, she would not turn around at this point. She had come too far to stop. She would return to the castle no matter what. By this time she desperately wanted to see her family and to feel their loving arms around her, and she wanted to be where her most pleasant memories where. She found herself in quite a state. There was a part of her that wanted to go home so badly, to feel the security of the castle walls once more, to live the set life that had been given her. Yet there was a side of her that never wanted to return to the bondage of those castle walls, that never wanted to relive the pain and hurt she had experienced at the hands of those who were closest to her. She had thought that leaving the castle would free her, would answer the questions that had haunted her, but at this point it had not. She had thought that returning home would help her clear her head and maybe shed some light on what she should do next, but as she got closer to the castle she was not so sure that was a good idea. Her days were filled with trudging forward, her feet feeling heavier with each step she took. Her nights were filled with dread and nightmares which shook her to her very core. She would awake in a sweat and pray for morning to come so she wouldn't have to face the dreaded demons of the night.
Finally, she was within one day's reach of the castle. When the sun rose the next morning she would be at the castle, the gate opening, her family waiting to greet her. Perhaps at that moment there would be some clarity. Perhaps then she would be able to see what she should do.
All day, as she pressed towards the castle her thoughts returned to what she remembered of life in the castle and what she had seen of life outside its boundaries. There seemed to be so much outside the castle walls that was bad. People lived aimless lives for the most part. They cared little for those around them. SELF seemed to be the number one thing most people worshiped and the girl couldn't help but notice that for all their self-adoration, they found themselves surprisingly empty. Of the people she had talked to, few bothered to even acknowledge the questions she was asking and even fewer attempted at an answer. The ones who did gave very little insight. It had been a frustrating last few years for her, but had it been any worse than living inside the thick, impermeable walls of the castle with no hope of experiencing anything other than what was in front of her? She didn't know. Honestly, she just didn't know. Tomorrow would be another chapter in the story of her quest for answers. She would wait until then before she asked anything else of herself. With some luck she could quiet her thoughts, and her nerves, and get some rest. The next day would be a big one for her and she would need her wits about her. Hopefully the new day would bring new hope for her and her quest for answers and maybe shine some light on her seemingly dim life. . . . . . .
To Be Continued

The Girl, Part 2

So, the girl left the castle and headed out into the large unknown world she had heard so much about. She really had no idea where she was going or what she was going to do now that she was gone, but she knew that she had questions that were still not answered and she wanted the answers. It was several days and then weeks and months and finally years that the girl was away from the castle. She had never really settled down anywhere but had kind of wandered from place to place, always searching for the answers to her questions. There were a few people every now and then that would give insight or help her arrive at conclusions that she felt like might be the right answers but for the most part she found that the people outside the castle were not much different from the people inside the castle. They knew very little about what the girl asked about and were only concerned with their own personal lives. They might not have been living inside a castle, but they might as well have been. Their line of sight was just as short and narrow as people in the castle. They couldn't see past the boundaries of where they lived. For the most part people were caught up in the everyday tasks and schedules that they followed and gave very little thought of anything else. There was nothing really spectacular about being on the outside; nothing extraordinarily enlightening. The girl began to remember what life was like inside the castle and what all the "outsiders" had told her about the world outside the castle. She remembered their taunts and how they ridiculed her for her lack of experience in the world. Well, now they couldn't ridicule her any longer. She had lived outside the castle, she had seen what they had seen and experienced what they had experienced, and what did she have to show for it? There was nothing so great about the world outside. There was nothing incredibly special about being outside the castle walls. She was not really any better out here than she was in the castle. Perhaps she would return and see if maybe the life there wasn't for her after all. Perhaps now that she had seen what was outside the castle and knew that the answers to her questions did not lie there that she would be content with the castle and its walls and life would begin to finally make sense. And so, the girl began to think of returning home and returning to the life she had always known. . . . . . . . . . . . .
To Be Continued

The Girl in the Castle

There once was a girl who lived in a castle far far away in a land of enchantment. The castle was strong and well-guarded so that it's inhabitants were never disturbed by the outside world and the outside world was never able to get to them unless for some reason or another the entry way was opened for a brief moment and a gift or visitor was allowed to enter. This girl knew only her life in the castle and for most of her years she found it hard to imagine that there was anything but the castle. To her the castle seemed large and full of life. There were family and friends, the young and the elderly, events and holidays and all the things that it seemed would be found in a world. But, alas, the girl was a dreamer and one with an intense curiosity about life. She read books and asked questions and observed those around her to see if she could find answers but she was not satisfied with the answers she was given. In her quest for knowledge and understanding she even went beyond the bounds of the castle. She made the acquaintance of several "outsiders", either on their trips into the castle or on the very rare occasion that the girl would venture out of it. With these "outsiders" she would talk for endless hours asking all sorts of questions, engaging in all sorts of dialogue. There was just one problem though. The "outsiders" had a habit of making fun of the girl. They would tease her about living inside the castle and about living a "sheltered" life. The girl never quite understood this and did her best to ignore them, but the teasing and taunting only increased the more that her exposure to "outsiders" increased. Because the girl was curious and she had so many questions she would continue her conversations with these people, but not a day went by that they would not encourage her to flee the castle or poke fun at her for remaining there. They would tell her that her world was not real and point out that she had no idea what was going on in the rest of the world or even that there was a rest of the world. She was completely oblivious to anything outside her own small line of sight. Of course these accusations deeply distressed the girl and she began to take another look at the life she had lived. Slowly it dawned on her that there was an air of truth to what the "outsiders" had been saying. Suddenly the castle seemed stuffy and confining. The people seemed no longer to be loving and caring but obsessed and overly protective. No, this was no place for the girl to stay. She must leave and find out what the world really contained. No wonder she had not been able to get answers in such a confined, constrained environment! At last she would be free to pursue her quest for answers without limitations! Yes, she must leave the castle. There was no other solutions, no other acceptable option. The path she must take was in front of her and she had no choice but to take it. She must be free from the stifeling repression of castle life.

To Be Continued . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

My Birthday

It's my birthday today and I must say that thus far it has been one of the best birthdays I have ever had. Normally my annual celebration of getting older is not all that exciting and for the most part I must say that it has been something of dread for me. But this year that has not been the case and I am so happy it hasn't. I decided to do most of my celebrating this past weekend as that was when my friends and family were free to be with me. I took the day off Friday and spent it with my best friend. We had so much fun together. We really just hung out and relaxed. I went to see Kung Foo Panda and I loved it!!!!! Such a funny movie! We had dinner and then we met up with several other friends and went bowling. I know, that probably sounds a bit strange to most of you but it was really fun. We did the cyber bowl which is where the entire alley is darkened but the lanes are lit up and there are these sort of disco lights that shed light over the lanes. There are large screens at the back of the lanes and they are showing videos while music is playing. They played new stuff and old stuff, slow stuff, country stuff, and just about every genre out there. It was great! I haven't had that much fun in forever. Of course I looked completely ridiculous in my bowling shoes because I was wearing a skirt that night. I actually looked like something out of a 1950's movie. Pretty hilarious! My friends and I had so much fun from dancing to the music to doing really well in bowling and doing really horribly in bowling. We were rolling balls down the alleys granny style or just letting them roll from very far back. It was so funny. I'm sure anyone watching us was laughing at us. Anyway, I was glad we went. It was everything I wanted it to be, and I got some very cool DS games out of the whole deal. Hoorah!!!! Saturday I played Mario Kart on a friend's Wii and ran some errands. After that I got more birthday presents, ones that I was uber happy about. There were two that were very sentimental and they are now sitting on my dresser to remind me of the wonderful person that gave them to me, and the other one I was ecstatic about and oh so grateful for. After all that I met and had ice cream with my mom and sisters. That was good too. Sunday, I went to church and that was just awesome. I love how God reaches down and speaks to us through His Word and through those that He has placed in ministry. The sermon in church was just what I needed and it was so encouraging for me. After church I got another present and a card from a very special person and I have to tell you, it made my day, my weekend, my birthday. (Sighhhhhhhhh) Then I celebrated my dad and that was fun too. I found a great card and wrapped his present and gave it to him. We had lunch and told funny stories. It was a good time. The rest of the day was pretty laid back and I spent the evening trying to catch up on some things. Today I'm at work. Not much of a birthday present but I am enjoying the numerous text messages and facebook greetings that have found their way to me. I even got a voice mail from my kid sister singing me Happy Birthday. It was great! So, this has definitely been one of the best birthdays I have ever had and the day is still not over. That's a good feeling! This week will be kinda stressful for me but I think this past weekend was a good preparation for it. I guess we'll see what happens and I will keep you posted.

Exciting!!!!!

I have so much stuff!!!! I can't believe how many things I have accumulated over the past few years. It is an unreal amount of things. But, I am very thankful that for the first time in my life I have some place to put them. I have never really had a room of my own, much less a house of my own, and although the task of putting everything in order has been a big one I am so happy about all the space. My room actually looks great and I don't feel like I have to put clutter all over the place. There is place for each thing which means that I can keep it in order. Yay!!! I hate things being messy but my problem in the past has been that there just wasn't any room for it anywhere else besides a huge pile hidden in the closet. Now there are shelves and cabinets and drawers for everything and that makes me so happy. In case you missed it, I have actually been working on the organizing part of moving into my house and I have gotten a lot done this week. I am at that point where the stress is not bad and I am really excited about doing things and getting things done. My friend and I went shopping last night and stayed up super late arranging my room and I am thrilled with the outcome. It is not finished by any means, but it is well on its way to looking great. It's funny too how it all worked out because I had a certain idea in my head of what I wanted and my friend had a certain idea too, but we couldn't find the things we needed to make it happen. Then, all of a sudden, it was all right in front of us and it worked out really well. I can't wait until it is all done to see what the end result will look like! It will be a room that is all my own with unique decorations and arrangements that are me. I love it! I am also happy about what the rest of the house is shaping up to look like. It's just going to be great! Ok, I just realized I a gushing and I guess I should stop. LOL. Sorry. I almost can't help it. I am so excited right now. Actually, there are so many things that I am excited about right now that it is hard for me not to go off on just about anyone about the million and one things going on in my life right now. There are so many things happening and so many good things about to happen. I can't wait to see what the end results will be. So, I guess that's sort of what I am up to for now.

A Lesson

It's June and I am finding myself wondering where the first six months of this year went. Is it just me or does the time seem to go by faster as you get older? This year has definitely been a full one for me, but I didn't think it would go by that quickly. It seems I blink and yet another month is gone. Sheesh!!!! Guess I will have to be more alert as to where my time is going. At least I can say I have something to show for all my time. I am registered and ready to start school again in the fall, I have moved in and am making sense of my new house, I am a fully responsible adult now paying all my own bills (that part I am not thrilled about), and I am adjusting nicely to living on my own. I still don't care for it all that much, but I am getting used to it. I would much prefer to come home to someone, but that is not possible right now, so I deal with it. My summer is looking rather busy but I am actually looking forward to it. I might even get to travel some and that is really exciting for me. I don't know what happened but somewhere between last week and the beginning of this week I quit stressing about everything. I just made the decision that things will get done if I keep working on them and it doesn't really matter most of the time how long it takes me to do them. I know there are things that have to be done right away, but that is not true for most things. However, I did not grow up that way. My life has been STRESSSFUL for as long as I can remember with everything seeming to be a hard deadline of NOW and nothing being able to wait for it to be done sanely and rationally. I think I'm just realizing that that is not the only way to do things. My house needs to be cleaned and decorated and organized, but it doesn't have to all be completed TODAY. It won't kill anyone if I do what I can each day without killing myself trying to finish it. All I have is about 2 or 3 hours to work on it each day, but that is O.K. You cannot imagine how much relief that gives me. It is now day 3 of this week and I am feeling better than I have in weeks. And, oddly enough, I am actually accomplishing more now that I am less stressed than I was when I was stressing about getting everything done. It would appear that all that worrying wore me out and left me with no strength to do anything else. Now that I am not worrying I am able to rest and then have the energy I do to get things done. So, I guess that's my big lesson for the next little while. Quit stressing! Things will get done sooner or later and it doesn't matter which one comes first.