Monday, June 23, 2008

The Girl, Part 3

The girl had thought about returning to her home many times. She spent time remembering her favorite spots in the castle, her favorite things to do, and her favorite people to spend time with. She missed her family and the things that were familiar to her. Perhaps she would travel back just for a visit. At least she would be able to see her family and maybe the visit would help clear her mind, give her some sense of direction, some idea of where she could really find the answers to her questions. Going home, returning to the castle definitely seemed like a good idea. She packed her bags, just taking a few things with her. After all, she was going to return. The trip home was only a short one; she wouldn't make a final decision until after her visit. She gathered her things and started back towards the castle. Along the road she met several people. She interacted with them, asking questions, being her usual curious self. She didn't really know for sure what she would accomplish from continuing to ask the questions that filled her mind. No one seemed to know how to answer them; but still she hoped that there were answers, and so she kept asking. While she traveled she also spent time reflecting on her life. She looked back to her childhood, as far back as she could remember. She made herself remember as much as she could, both the good and the bad. There were certainly many good memories to be had, but there were also some very unpleasant ones. She remember the strict hold the castle dwellers had over her life. She remembered the hard tedious schedule she had to fulfill every day. The girl began to be troubled. Perhaps she wasn't quite ready to go home yet, but she was already on the road that led there. She had already traveled many days. No, she would not turn around at this point. She had come too far to stop. She would return to the castle no matter what. By this time she desperately wanted to see her family and to feel their loving arms around her, and she wanted to be where her most pleasant memories where. She found herself in quite a state. There was a part of her that wanted to go home so badly, to feel the security of the castle walls once more, to live the set life that had been given her. Yet there was a side of her that never wanted to return to the bondage of those castle walls, that never wanted to relive the pain and hurt she had experienced at the hands of those who were closest to her. She had thought that leaving the castle would free her, would answer the questions that had haunted her, but at this point it had not. She had thought that returning home would help her clear her head and maybe shed some light on what she should do next, but as she got closer to the castle she was not so sure that was a good idea. Her days were filled with trudging forward, her feet feeling heavier with each step she took. Her nights were filled with dread and nightmares which shook her to her very core. She would awake in a sweat and pray for morning to come so she wouldn't have to face the dreaded demons of the night.
Finally, she was within one day's reach of the castle. When the sun rose the next morning she would be at the castle, the gate opening, her family waiting to greet her. Perhaps at that moment there would be some clarity. Perhaps then she would be able to see what she should do.
All day, as she pressed towards the castle her thoughts returned to what she remembered of life in the castle and what she had seen of life outside its boundaries. There seemed to be so much outside the castle walls that was bad. People lived aimless lives for the most part. They cared little for those around them. SELF seemed to be the number one thing most people worshiped and the girl couldn't help but notice that for all their self-adoration, they found themselves surprisingly empty. Of the people she had talked to, few bothered to even acknowledge the questions she was asking and even fewer attempted at an answer. The ones who did gave very little insight. It had been a frustrating last few years for her, but had it been any worse than living inside the thick, impermeable walls of the castle with no hope of experiencing anything other than what was in front of her? She didn't know. Honestly, she just didn't know. Tomorrow would be another chapter in the story of her quest for answers. She would wait until then before she asked anything else of herself. With some luck she could quiet her thoughts, and her nerves, and get some rest. The next day would be a big one for her and she would need her wits about her. Hopefully the new day would bring new hope for her and her quest for answers and maybe shine some light on her seemingly dim life. . . . . . .
To Be Continued

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