An Observation

He quietly sits and listens while you tell your stories - stories of personal failures, stories of frustration and anger, stories of hopes and dreams that you hold near to your heart, stories of struggles that you have, stories of the past and the present. As you talk he simple sits and listens. He waits patiently for you to finish, to have your say. Then, when you are done, he looks at you and with gentleness he imparts wisdom. He gives you good advice and offers comfort - not comfort that is tangible, but so very real nonetheless. He assures you in the things you do that are right and encourages you to press on in making right decisions. He seems to never tire of telling you the truth and helping direct you in the right way. His voice is full of love and gentleness and his eyes are tenderly pleading with you to listen to him. There have been times when I have wondered if perhaps my voice was not a noisy gong or grating sound to his ears, if my complaints and annoyances were not like a house guest that has overstayed his welcome. If they are he does not let on that it is so. I have wondered if he ever notices that he gives the same advice over and over again when it often goes unheeded. Does it bother him that he offers the same answer to the same question each time it is asked? Does he ever get tired of his role? If he does, he does not show it. He has more patience that just about anyone else I have ever met. I have on occasion seen him loose his temper but it was only after it had been provoked numerous times without cessation. I must admit, when I step back and observe him I am in awe of the qualities I see but I know that those qualities did not come easily. They were worked at over years of hard trials and many testings. They are the refined products of a Master Refiner. I have my own trials and testings that seem to be almost nonstop, and many times I wonder what if anything they are accomplishing. I do hope, though, that one day I will be able to look back at where I have been and where I am and realize I have at least some of the same qualities I see in him. It would be a blessing indeed.

A Reflection

Sometimes life seems so hard. Sometimes it can even seem impossible to maintain a proper view of things. I have often wondered why it seems that some of the simplest things turn out to be the most difficult and many times impossible to grasp. The only conclusion of sorts that I have come to is that those things are, most of the time, connected to people and people are flawed. You cannot make someone see the truth of a situation, or the light that is so blatantly glaring at them, or even the giant cliff that they are edging towards. In your perspective it should be fairly easy to see or realize, but it isn't. In your mind's eye the simple rules of the universe and human kind are just that, simple. But for others they are not. I don't think that it is because the rules aren't really simple; rather, I think it is our perspective and point of view that makes them simple or even visible for that matter. Still, it is baffling to me that someone cannot grasp the simple themes of life such as family bonds and lasting relationships. There are some that claim it is society and the culture of our day that leaves people so clueless as to what is truly valuable and what is not. I would argue that is not the case. As I look over history and examine the Scriptures, it seems to me that there has always been this struggle between what is truth and what is not. There have been so many things presented as truth that were nothing more than deceit in its most malicious form. There have always been people or ideologies that have tried to corrupt the fundamental laws and truths that God set in place when He created this world. Throughout history there have been those who have carelessly discarded, and sometimes purposefully tried to stomp out, those things such as the family unit, an adherence to truth, and living by the code of putting others before yourself. The interesting thing is that life will never be pleasant or even fulfilling without these things. These are rules that God has made an inherent part of the universe and how it runs. If you try to ignore those rules, things don't run right. It doesn't matter if you are a person devoid of any relationship with God or you are a supposedly religious person who acknowledges God. The rules are the same for everyone and everyone is affected when we don't live by them. What is perhaps most sad, in my opinion, is that there are so many so called 'enlightened' people who are so unenlightened. Those who parade around as 'the voice of God' and yet cannot even live by the simplest of God's commands. They trump the value of the family, rely on deceit to further themselves, and live in a world of self-adoration while proclaiming that they are living the Bible to it's fullest extent. More ironically still, they cannot see that the path behind them is filled with the carcasses and decrepit bodies of those murdered and maimed by their actions and the stench of it is inescapable. Yet, they only see flowers and beautiful landscapes and smell perfume that is not there. They have lived in deceit for so long they have deceived themselves. It would seem that the truth was blatantly obvious and that it is so simple to realize what is really there, but for some reason it is not. Sadly, it is even more difficult to make those following on the path behind to realize that they are stepping over the bones of those who have fallen on the same path and that the ultimate end is a drop off, not eternal bliss. Still, they cannot see it, or will not see it. And one is left to wonder why the simple things, the most obvious things are sometimes the hardest to see.

I Think He Really Loves Me

When he holds me in his arms my whole world stops. My knees grow weak and I melt in his arms. When he walks in a room by heart skips a beat and a smile tugs at my lips. When he kisses me I tingle from head to toe. When I look in his eyes I see they are warm with love and when he touches me his hands emit loving tenderness. He is gentle and tenderhearted, yet strong. He waits to go to bed each night until we have said good night. He stops his work to accept a hug from me and has a goofy grin on his face as he returns to his duties. He sends me flowers and love notes and calls just to chat. Yes, I think I really loves me. He holds me when I cry and cheers me when I'm sad. He comes over just so he can be with me even when we can't sit down and spend time with each other. He asks for my opinion and listens to my advice. He encourages me to pursue my hopes and dreams and is one of the loudest fans in my cheering section. He helps me do the hard things in life and never lets me quit when I shouldn't. He shares his life with me and is always willing to share mine. He always reassures me that he loves me and I think he really does.

Relief

It's over, and I am relieved. For the past two and a half years I have been working in an environment that is not good for anyone let alone someone who is dealing with major life issues. But this Friday it all came to an end. I have never been so excited to leave a place in my whole life. It took a lot to keep myself from floating as I walked out of my place of employment. I wanted to cry as I drove home. Cry from relief, cry that is was all finally over, cry that it had taken so long to get to this point. I was glad things had ended amicably. It really was time for me to go. The decision was good for me; good for my employer. I spent the night at home last night trying to recover from the stress I have been under. I slept for ten hours straight and could have slept some more if I hadn't had things to do this morning. Finally. I cannot express how much I have needed this. The stress in my life has been growing to monumental proportions for the past four years and it has only been in the past few months that I have been able to start whittling away at the mountain. I am actually beginning to make some progress and I am so happy I am. January was the climax of a lot of things for me and I am so glad it is done and over with. I accomplished a lot but I also suffered a lot. Thankfully there is a new horizon in front of me and I look forward to the journey with much anticipation. Getting sleep helped. I feel better than I have in a long time, but there is more work to do. I need to recover fully and that will be my single-most important goal in the coming days. I will keep you posted as I progress. I hope it will be interesting.