Are Women Impossible to Please?

Wellllll, yes and no. If I wanted to be completely scientific or mathematical I would have to say yes. There is the possibility that women can be pleased. Now, whether or not that possibility is very large or is actually a probability is another story all together. I would have to say that for most men it is pretty nigh unto impossible to please a woman. It takes dedication, determination, an ability to be in tune with what is going on in that woman's mind, and an overall sensitivity to what makes her happy; and let's face it, most guys are none of the above. This is definitely a flaw in the male make up, but it's there so deal with it. Men are definitely not the caretakers in any relationship. Remember, God said that man needed a helper, not woman. Now before all you huge male ego maniacs come after me just bare with me a moment. The way I see it, men have a drive to make sure their wife, family, whatever is taken care of. For most men I know this is actually a pretty strong drive in their lives and it pushes them to work and make sure they are the provider in a given situation. Women play a different role. They take care of the men in their lives. They are supposed to be there to help men, whether that be giving them support, helping them stay organized, encouraging them in whatever it is they are doing, or just telling them how much they mean to you and how glad you are that they are around. Women need to feel protected and secure and men can offer that. Men need to feel good about themselves and feel like they are important and women can offer that. The trouble starts when women expect men to be more than what they are and men fail to recognize they needs women have. Are women impossible to please? Not always, but they do tend to have the habit of being very demanding and accepting nothing less than perfection from their man. Men make this worse by not paying attention to the warning signs that something is up and then not even trying to do anything about it. A woman who complains that her man didn't do exactly what she wanted is pathetic and inexcusable, but a man who doesn't even try to please his woman is just as pathetic. So, I guess you could say that women can be pleased but it takes some doing on both men and women's parts to do so.

New Features

Just in case any of you missed it, I've been messing with my blog. I can't say that I like all the changes, but I do enjoy messing with everything. So, please look around and if you really hate something or really like it, let me know. BTW, there's a new section at the bottom of the blog. Make sure you check it out!!!!!

Thought For the Day

I don't have anything great to post, kinda unable to put my thoughts into words right now. So if I ramble or you find yourself saying, "huh?" don't worry about it. I will say this, I have finally come to the point were I can openly admit I don't really know much. My ideas are just that, ideas with very little resemblance to anything in reality. All the things I think I am so sure of turn out to be simply shadows of assurances, they seem to disappear so quickly. Why is it I can be so sure of myself and so confident of my opinions when in reality they are merely opinions held by someone who is sadly lacking in so many areas? For those of you who thought I'd never see it, don't worry, I've known it for quite a while; but there is always this masquerade called life that everyone plays and in the end aren't we all pretending to be so many things we are not? We all put on our masks and parade through life as whatever it is we want to be, always trying to stay one step ahead of everyone else lest they find out who we really are. Then someone gets close enough to you to take the mask off and we, fearing what the reaction will be to the what is under the mask, quickly pull away, back to safety and back to the masquerading. What a cycle. This all leaves me very unsure of a great many things, including my own persona. I have, however, reached some sort of conclusion. There is only one thing I am absolutely sure of, that I absolutely know: God is good and He loves me despite all the craziness that is me. No matter what I say, do or think, He is always right there loving me, helping me stay on the right track, encouraging me to keep going no matter what happens, and I absolutely love Him for it.

Just cuz.

Nothing Great

Ok, I don't have much to post this morning and I probably won't be on again today unless something incredible happens and I can't keep from writing about it. I have a huge amount of stuff to do and I really should get it done. I've been sort of fooling around for the last two weeks and now I need to focus and actually get something done, you know be a responsible adult and all that. So, there isn't much interesting happening in my life at this point. Research, work, church, the usual. Of course, every day seems to somehow end up being an adventure of its own, but that isn't out of the ordinary for me. Well, that's about it. I found this song online and I like it alright so I thought I'd post it for you.


*About Me* General info about me that isn't all that interesting. My arts experiences: I started piano lessons around age six and they continued through part of high school and then again in college. I took art classes from the time I was 10 until I was 15 or 16. I had a couple years of ballet classes (oh gag me) and some other dance classes here and there. I took a few voice lessons when I was twelve but then never received any other formal training until my second year of college. However, I have been singing in church since I was eight years old. I have been in several school/church plays, performed musically in some fashion or another in almost every type of environment imaginable and have decided that performing for a grade or a score is the worst type of performing possible. Favorite type of music to perform (outside of the stuff I do with my church group on a regular basis) is jazz. I love the improv and the scatting. It's so great to have the freedom to do whatever you want with the music you are singing or playing and to actually feel like you are creating music and not just reading the notes on a page.

The Weekend

It's the end of the weekend and I must say it was a pretty good weekend at that. I had some fun, got some serious practicing in, thought (a lot!!!), actually got my room clean (amazingly, it can happen), and learned a few new things. I actually went to a movie (the first since sometime early last year) and got to hang out with my friends (and several family members; but then, they seem to be a part of everything I do). That was probably the best part of my weekend. We went to see "Amazing Grace" and I have to say that the movie was really good. There was so much about it that was good I couldn't even post it all here, and besides, everyone should see it for themselves. Really, it was that good and I'm so glad I went. Anyway, I'm still in a bit of a silly mood (see last post) so I thought I'd steal a survey from one of my friend's blogs and post it here. It can double as both my post and my *About Me* section for this time. So, here goes.
Thinking Meme
1. If you had to choose one vice in exclusion of all others what would it be?
definitely chocolate; it's not even close

2. If you could change one specific thing about the world what would it be?
The fact that there are far too many mindless women and most men appear to be sadly lacking as well.

3. Name the cartoon character you identify with the most.
Marvin the Martian - he seems so smart and so stupid all at once.

4. If you could live one day in your life over again which one would it be?
There are too many to choose just one, but one of them would definitely be the day I hurt a good friend in an attempt to get myself out of trouble.

5. If you could go back in history and spend a day with one person who would it be?
I think I'd rather just be given the opportunity to get inside the minds of so many famous historical people: J. S. Bach, Jane Austin, Edgar Allen Poe, Albert Einstein, George Washington Carver, Sojourner Truth, I could go on forever. The one person I would actually love to have seen in their day would have to be Jesus. I would love to have seen the miracles and watch the reactions of those around Him and then, of course, to experience actually being in the physical presence of God - that would be awesome.

6. What is the one thing you lost, sold or threw away that you wish you could have back?
Does that mean material or non-material things? For the first, nothing too important. For the second, lost relationships with very dear friends.

7. What is your one most important contribution to this world?
Could I get back with you on that?

8. What is your one hidden talent that nearly no one knows about?
Does there only have to be one and what makes it a talent? I prefer to keep them hidden and go on thinking they are talents rather than exposing them and having someone inform me that they are definitely not.

9. What is your most cherished possession?
My Bible. I've had it since I was 15 and I have marked in it and underlined all over it. I've written promises God has given me and dated passages that meant a lot to me during certain periods of my life. It's nice to read it and be reminded if things God did for me or times when His Word comforted me.

10. What one person influenced your life the most when growing up?
Given the various circumstances of my life there isn't just one, but my mom has influenced me the most in my relationship with the Lord and believing that Jesus is so real and my vice-principal for grades 5 - 12 influenced me to always strive to know more and experience more in life.

11. What one word describes you better than any other?
Yikes!!!!

My Crazy Mind

My crazy mind is at work again. Full of all sorts of bazaar ideas and thoughts, some logic, very little sense, and some intelligence (just enough to keep me balanced enough to not be admitted anywhere). Why is it that our minds don't have OFF buttons so that when they get out of control we can just turn them off and give ourselves a break? Oh, that would be great! Of course, then we would actually have to remember to turn them back on again and I'm not sure we could do that if they were off to begin with. Hmmmmm. There has to be a solution somewhere. My mind is about to drive me crazy!!!! All the what if's and how's and why's and all the other questions that seem to run through my mind non-stop. Then there are all the scenarios - oh, the impossible, ridiculous, just plain silly, at times very wishful scenarios that my mind can create! Trust me, it is not a pretty sight; rather confusing, chaotic and very rambling. But, oh well, that is me. I can't seem to escape it or change it, so I am learning, or trying - I don't know which is more accurate - to live with it. Although I have no wish to lose my mind entirely (even if it seems I have at times!), I do wish that it would quiet down long enough for me to think sanely and rationally. Of course then there is always the fear that I wouldn't be nearly as interesting a person, but sacrifices for sanity must be made. So, I will keep attempting to deal with this out of control animal that resides inside my skull and in the mean time you all can laugh or cry or be relatively unmoved by the workings of my mind.
Hey, side note. I learned how to post music! YAAAAA!!!! So here is a song from one of my favorite groups.


*About Me* No history today, just some general info. I am a very determined person. I won't say I'm stubborn, but I am persistent, especially in accomplishing goals. It's not that I feel like I should keep going but more that I feel the need to. When pursuing something, I have learned that I may fail several times, but if it is worth it, then keep trying and eventually you will accomplish it.

Laughing Out Loud

Well, I meant to post yesterday, but things got busy and obviously that didn't happen. Oh well, I was having a good time anyway. Yesterday was great. I had so much fun. Work was good, performances were great, and I even got to be a little mischievous. I had enough laughs to last me at least a week, but I hope there will be more. There is just something about having a good time and laughing. No matter what happened before, if you can just laugh a little, it all seems to be not so bad. I know my first post of the week was a tad on the depressing side (sorry, that's just what was going on with me at the moment) but I am hoping the rest of this week will be good at least and great if possible. I wish I had something funny to post right now so you all could laugh with me, but (sigh) I don't. I need to find some good stuff to post and then figure out how to post it here. That is (I will admit) one good thing about myspace. You don't have to figure out how post something because it is all right there and easy to use. What I really want is a way to post some music. Hmmm. I'll have to figure that one out. Well, guess that's all for now.

*About Me* Something funny. I was a huge tomboy growing up. I didn't really play with dolls (at least not too much). Sports were more my thing. I also had a very quick temper and didn't mind having a physical match with anyone I was upset at, including the guys. I can think of more than one occasion when I was pulled off some guy that I was beating up. One particular one went as follows. On Wednesday nights I had to attend a girls class at church. The class required that all the girls wear uniforms, which included a skirt. I hated skirts and usually had shorts or pants on underneath so I could remove the offensive object as soon as I left the class. One Wednesday, this particularly obnoxious kids stopped me before I could get my skirt off and started harassing me about wearing it what did I have under the skirt anyway. He then dared me to take the skirt off and prove that I was really girl (nice kid, huh?). Well, I didn't take the skirt off, but the jeans I was wearing underneath came quite handy when I proceeded to chase him across the church parking lot and into the gymnasium where I slammed him to the ground. I was on top of him just beating the heck out of him when our youth pastor yelled, "Winchester! Get off him now!" At first I didn't comply, but the youth pastor was persistent and I eventually let up. I was so angry at that kid! I then proceeded to ask the youth pastor why I couldn't give him what he was asking for, and he responded that he couldn't, or didn't want to have to, explain to the kids parents why he was severely injured. He promised it was for my sake and not the kid's but I would have rathered he just let me finish what I had started.

Something Short

This post won't be long and maybe I'll post something else later. I have a question, not that I'm expecting anyone to actually answer it; it's just occupying my thoughts right now. Why do we have to hurt? Why do we have to experience things in life that make us hurt? You know that dull ache that you can feel in your heart and the pit of your stomach all at the same time? The one that makes everything in life seem so totally pointless, at least for the moment? The one that causes days to melt into each other and before you know it so much time has gone by yet still the hurt stays? Why is that? What causes that? Of course I could answer that usually we cause it in some way or another, or those around us that do things wrong, or mistreat us or hurt themselves thus hurting us; I could go on forever. Still, I am wondering why. I suppose to not hurt would not be human and that if I didn't hurt then I wouldn't know what it was like to be happy and not hurt. Oh well. There are too many philosophical questions in this post and I think I will stop before it becomes overwhelming. At least there is the hope that tomorrow will be better and the assurance that there are the arms of an Everlasting Father to fall back into and just be held.

Thoughts

Today was great. I so thoroughly enjoyed myself and being with my church family. It is always amazing to me how secure and sure of myself I feel when I am with the people I care about the most. Sure, there are bad things that happen, disappointments and even hurts sometimes, but that doesn't compare to all the good things we share. I know it's not very common, but I have been in the same church my whole life so the people there are like my family. In fact, they are family. The Bible talks about when you become saved you enter the family of God and truly these people are my family. They hold me when I'm weak, love me when I'm hurt, let me cry when I need to, laugh with me, encourage me when I'm down, spend time with me, watch out for me and so much more. I can truly say I thank God for them and for the influence they have had in my life and if it weren't for them I don't know where I'd be. They are one of the huge blessings God has given me and I am so fortunate to have them be a part of my life.

*About Me* There were so many things I experienced from age 9 on that it is hard to know what to post here. I guess I'll just give a few examples of things that happened that stick out in my memory and tell how I felt about them. When I was 10 I had my first experience with death. There was a baby in the church nursery that all the kids loved to play with. He was so happy and cute. Then one day, he got sick and we found out later he had a very rare form of Leukemia. The doctor's tried for a year to save him. He underwent blood transfusions, medication and even a bone marrow transplant, but nothing worked. I remember praying so hard that he would live, and I believed he would. The reality that he hadn't made it was crushing. I couldn't even believe it until the day of the funeral. Then it was surreal. Looking at his little body in the coffin was like being in a dream, and the corpse lying there was not the little boy I had known. I didn't cry until after the funeral and then it took a few weeks to get over it. It was so amazing how someone could be alive and with you one day and then the next he was gone, never to return. Now that I am older and have known several people that died, that realization of the permanence of death still amazes me.

This Week

This week was. . .interesting. . . fun (in a way). . . tiresome. . . quirky. . . hmm, and I don't know what else. Overall I think it was a good week. I definitely laughed more than I have in a long while. It just seemed there were so many funny things happening around me: co-worker craziness, kids who ate way too much sugar, some stories told that were supposed to be serious but were just silly, emails with crazy videos (I need a trunk monkey now!), a nephew who was more impish than ever, and I could go on for a while, but I won't. I think my favorite story was from my sister who works the night shift in a hospital. She had a patient who had some dementia and in the middle of the night the patient, who wanted to leave but was told she couldn't (of course), decided to call 911 and report that she was being held against her will. This caused quite the ruckus in the unit and left the attending tech completely at a loss as to what to do. Ah, good stuff. My favorite thing I read this week came from one of my students (11 yrs. old) in the form of a grammar assignment. I am going to post it because I liked it so much.
Definition Poem:
Love - is a ship that carries you through the storm.
Truth - is a compass to guide you on your way.
Hope - is an anchor that will not let you drift.
Faith - is a harbor, a place to stay safe.

My favorite thing I heard this week was Bryan Adams' "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman". It is a great song musically, lyrically, and artistically. It's just beautiful.
There were other favorites but I think the best part of this week was that I was able to do so many things for so many other people and that always makes you feel good. There is just something about knowing that you are meeting some one's need or letting them know that you care about them. I'm not sure I can describe it, but it is one of the things that makes life great. Truly, it is more blessed to give than to receive.

*About Me* From age 9 to about 15 I became the world's biggest bookworm. I read everything I could get my hands on from books (any type) to magazines to text books. I was completely submerged in reading at almost every time of the day. About the only time I wasn't reading was when I was critiquing some one or something. I was very quick with come backs and very sharp tongued. My heroine was Kate in Shakespeares "Taming of the Shrew" (only I cringed that the man actually tamed her in the end). Oddly enough, there was always some humor in my critiques, so many times the people hearing them ended up laughing rather than being angry. Although this skill was fun to acquire and kept me quite entertained I learned later than it wasn't always a desireable quality in a woman nor did it speak of humility or any other Christian value.

Valentine's Day

Today was Valentine's Day. It was a great day. I have to say that of everything I got (which don't start looking wide-eyed; it wasn't that much) my favorite things were two perfect Argentinian pink roses that my brother gave me and Andes mints given to me by my niece. They made my day. So, I got candy and flowers and a few other things and the day was great. The part I most enjoyed was putting together special gifts for my sisters. It took me time and effort, but I loved every minute of it and it made my day special. For those who don't know how this holiday originated (no, it wasn't with Hallmark) there are numerous stories out there but it is a holiday that has been around for around 1500 years and was established as a day to celebrate those you love, not only your sweetheart but anyone that is special to you. I am glad for the day because it gives me a great opportunity to tell my friends and family how much they mean to me. So, let me take the opprtunity right now: I love you all and hope your day was as good as mine. 'Til next time.

Nothing Too Important

I know it's been several days since I posted. I am sorry. I did want to post, but technical difficulties kept me from it. So, now I need to do a bit of catching up. My weekend was actually really nice. I was able to relax a bit and be with my family just enjoying each other's company. I saw a really strange old movie (still haven't figured out what the point was), spent some time working on homework (oddly enough I enjoyed it), and finally got some sleep. Sunday was a really good day too. Church was just, I don't know, great. Kinda like when a thirsty person gets a drink and it is a drink that they really enjoy. It was so refreshing. Then, Sunday night I was with the college group from church and we had a really good time together. There is nothing like being with your friends and being able to just hang out. It is a Bible Study of sorts, but thats great because we do all the sharing, so you can hear what each person is experiencing with God for themselves and then we compare notes on Scriptures and things that the Lord is talking to us about from the Bible. Of course there is also the laughing and joking that goes on with the occassional jab (or sometimes not too occassional jab) at each other, but that just makes us friends who like being around each other. Monday at work was a little hectic, but oh well. Nothing too terrible. Besides, you can't have everything in life in slow motion. Today, well it's just started and I think it will be a great day. I will have the opportunity to be with my nephew this afternoon (yaaa!) and I also have to finish some shopping tonight, which is great because I haven't been to a store to shop in forever (yes, I am a female, just haven't gotten around to shopping recently). So, that about sums up my life for the last three days. Hope you all had a great weekend and are ready for the rest of the week. Good luck!

*About Me* The single most important point in my life came on July 14, 1989. That was the day I met Jesus and asked Him to forgive me of my sins and be the Lord and Saviour of my life. It was not an emotional experience, I did not have some strange feeling or experience anything out of the ordinary, but my life changed forever. I entered into a realtionship with God and His Son Jesus and I was filled with His Spirit a short time later. That moment when I surrendered to Him began something in me that is still at work today. I have not lived a perfect Christian life, I have turned my back on God several times, I have questioned the Lord more times than I care to admit; but through it all He has been so faithful, so loving and gentle with me, and has never failed to come searching for me to bring me back to Him. He has never failed me, never rejected me, and always been there waiting for me to look to Him as the source of my life, and I love Him for it.

The Week

Well, I am home tonight instead of out like I planned, so I thought I'd log on and post something. Hmm. Now I seem to be having a mental block and can't think of anything to write. Guess I'll sum up my week in a few short phrases. What's made me laugh: American Idol, LOL!!! I've never seen so many ridiculous things in my life! I have never been so embarrassed for someone and so horrified all at the same time. What's made me cry: disappointment and the harsh realization that somethings just don't work out. What's made me happy: being with my kids at the school where I work. They may be brats at times but they definitely know how to put a smile on my face. Also, because it's Black History Month my groups been performing many of the Negro Spirituals and old school gospel music, and I love singing them. What's made me think: conversations with and feedback from friends and with the One Who is all important in my life. I've been more challenged this week to live what I believe than I have been in a long while, but, then, that's good for me. Isn't it? Thank God He is faithful and doesn't leave me stranded when I am having a hard time and He always knows when I've had enough and steps in and takes over. I can't even tell you how good He is to me, but I hope my life is such that you can see it in me.

*About Me* When I was 8, my parents were legally separated and that was a huge culture shock for me. They were granted joint custody and thus started my life of living half the week with one parent and half with the other, splitting holidays and vacations, and attending two different churches. Talk about leading a double life! There has been nothing else in my life, save my salvation experience and my relationship with the Lord, that has affected me so deeply. The next several years of my life would prove to be some of the toughest I have ever had.

A Silly Wish

I was thinking about my nephew this morning and started remembering when I was a kid. You know, those were fun days. I remember thinking I never wanted to grow up (sometimes I still have that wish). There is one thing, though, that I really miss, so much so I wish it would happen: A pillow fight. You know the kind where you have more than one person battling it out with pillows that don't necessarily feel soft when they are wacking you upside the head. The kind where the entire house becomes a battle ground and you aren't safe anywhere, but neither are your opponents. The kind of pillow fights that usually lead to at least an hour of hysterical laughter, amazing andrenaline rushes and just sheer entertainment. Why do we stop doing these things when we "grow up"? Really, this just shouldn't be. I know several people who could really use a nice pillow in their face or a blow to the chest that knocks the wind out of them. Hmmm. I should really stop this post, I'm getting too many ideas and feeling a bit too mischevious at the moment. Good thing there are no pillows handy at the moment.

*About Me* Because of severe vision problems, my parent took me to an eye specialist when I was 7. I had 20/80 vision in one eye and 20/16 in the other - translation: I was legally blind in one eye and using the other for all my vision. Treatment started when I was 8 and it was a long hard road of training the weak eye to see. The intense treatment lasted six years and with a very dedicated doctor, much patience, and a whole lot of prayer my vision was corrected. I went from wearing glasses 24/7 to only wearing them when my eyes were tired and needed some assistance. My doctor could only marvel at the success of the treatment. Truly, this was one of the miracles in my life.

What We Can't Have

Why is it we as humans always seem to want what we can't have? Why do we desire the things that are not good for us? Why do we become attached to what we shouldn't? Of course I have answers for all these questions, but that doesn't change the every day living of them. I just sometimes wish I could get outside myself, shake myself out of my stupor, and then do what I know is good for me. I know I can do it, I know I probably will do it, but why does there have to be such a struggle over it? Why can't I see trouble coming a mile away and stay away from it? Even when I do see it I manage to talk myself out of being cautious and the next thing you know I'm involved in something I wish I had never come across. Why can't I stop doing this? I suppose it will be a lifelong struggle, as it is for everyone. I guess that's why the Apostle Paul said he had to die daily to himself. Even he struggled with this, asking why it was that the good he willed to do he did not do and the evil he did not wish to do he ended up doing. However, there is hope, if I will only accept it (in every area, not just the ones I choose). Paul said, "Oh, wretched man that I am, who deliver me from this body of death? But thanks be to God Who giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!" If there has been anything I have learned in life it is that there is victory in Jesus. No matter what the situation, what the problem, He can make us victorious if we let Him. So, I guess then, the thing to do is to let Him. Lord, help me let you be victorious in my life!

*About me* I remember starting school when I was 4 and I actually liked it (that would change later). For those who know how curious I am, this was all started in preschool/kindergarten when I was introduced to learning, and it hasn't stopped. I love finding out new things, examining all things, and being taught. There is nothing quite like having a revelation of what someone is talking about and knowing that you have grasped some new knowledge that will be with you for the rest of your life and when that knowledge can be used to gain more knowledge that is even more exciting.

February

It's already February. It seems just yesterday it was Dec. 31 and I was wondering how the new year would go. Now it seems it is flying by faster than I can keep up. Where does the time go? I know I can account for every day of the past month, but they all seem like one long day rather than 31 very short days. I guess that one reason the Scripture says our lives are like a vapor; here today and gone tomorrow. That's sort of a sobering thought. It makes me want to make sure my life counted for something in the time I was given on Earth. Too many times I find that I have wasted my time doing something that had absolutely no meaning or purpose and then I can't buy that time back. There is no way to go back in time and retreive the minutes or hours lost. The only solution is to learn from the mistake and then determine to live life on purpose, as I once heard someone say. Not merely passing through this world or simply existing until we cease to, but really living - experiencing everything God has for us, making the most of my time, even if it is only a short time.

*About Me: Around age 6 my dad started taking me to work with him on Saturdays. We would ride the bus everywhere we went and he would show me Tucson. We always had lunch together. It was so much fun. This is how I was first introduced to coffee. My father is an avid coffee drinker, downing several glasses in a day. Wanting to be like dad I tried the stuff. While he drank his black, I added several spoons of sugar and creamer. One day after my third cup of coffee, my dad followed me to the coffee pot to watch me refill my cup. As I was adding the "extras", I heard an "Aha! I knew there was something strange about all the coffee you were drinking." He then told me I could only drink the coffee if I drank it black. That quickly brought a halt to my coffee drinking days, at least until high school.

About Me

One can only form an opinion of someone with what they know of them. So, I've decided to post a little about myself each time I write a post. These "facts" will appear at the end of each post so that they don't interfere with anything I'm writing about, but hopefully it will give you a pretty good picture of who I am. For those of you wondering, no there will be no sordid details or amazing confessions of things I have experienced; but there will be summations of who I am and what makes me "me".
So, first "fact" to post is on my beginnings. It will be a bit long since it is a starting point, but it won't be that way for the other posts. I am from a family of eight. There were six girls and two boys (don't even bother feeling sorry for the guys, they managed just fine!). I was born in Tucson, Arizona and I have never lived anywhere else, nor do I desire to do so (at least not at this time). I would call my family's situation one step above poverty. While we weren't living on the streets, we definitely relied on charity and a wonderful church family to keep us going. "Hand me downs" were about the only clothes I owned until I was about 7 or 8. I have never known hunger, but I have known shame and humiliation at having too little or nothing at all. I do have some very fond memories of those first years of my life, though. I remember helping my dad make sack lunches for school when I was between 2 and 3. I can't imagine that I was much of a help, but the sheer joy of being with my dad and feeling like I was important to him is something I will always remember. I also remember waking up early in the morning to find my parents praying on the living room couch. I would crawl up on my dad's lap and stay there until they were finished and when mom got up to go, he would sit there with me and say a special prayer just for me, always reminding me how much he loved me and how important the Lord was in our lives. Yes, there certainly were good times in my young life.

Sunday Night

I know this post will probably have very little interest to most of you, but I'm going to post it anyway. I have just finished watching the American Idol auditions from L. A. and I have not laughed that hard in forever. I was actually crying I was laughing so hard. I'm still laughing about it. There were so many ridiculous things on that show. I know, it's reality TV but it is so funny!! I just can't get over how someone can actually get up in front of people who they know are going to critique them and do the things they do. It's not just bad singing, it is completely and utterly ridiculous behavior (not to mention dancing that should be outlawed). The parading these people do is outrageous, and what is even more incredulous is that they think they are really something. Did no one ever tell these people the truth or did they simply not care to listen? I can't even imagine that the most musically ignorant people would think that some of these people had any business auditioning for this show. Of course, I know that some of it is staged, but that only goes so far. They still had to find people willing to behave this way on national television. Oh, well. I'm getting a kick out of it. So, to all those who should never, but unfortunantely will audition, thanks for entertaining me!

Friday

It's been three days since I last posted and I decided I should probably write something. Life right now is busy, but there is hope it will slow down (at least for the next few weeks). Graduate applications are done, research is begun, and there are at least two months before the next major holiday. Ah, breathing room. Things of interest lately are the American Idol auditions, which make me laugh so hard I cry (where do they get these people from?), reading a biography of a Chinese preacher from the 1920's - 40's (amazing man, amazing insight), listening to music (I know it sounds weird but I hardly ever get to just sit and enjoy music), and writing (which I haven't done much of in the last three years). Things I'm working on include learning how to pray more (Lord knows I need it), learning to show the love of Christ rather than the judgment of Christ (a hard pill to swallow), and learning how to let Jesus live through me and manifest Himself so people can see Him in any circumstance I am in. Of course there are so many more thing I can work on, but as my grandmother always says, "Rome wasn't built in a day". So, that about sums up what I want to say. I hope you all have a great weekend and if anything interesting happens I'll be sure to post it.