Rambling

So, my niece is graduating tomorrow and it will be huge event with more family than I can keep track of and the promise of a long but fun night ahead of me. We have been preparing now for several weeks as we are doing the reception ourselves. We are using the lawn at my church because it will be an outside party. The guys have spent the last week putting up hundreds of lights and setting up tents. I saw it last night and it was amazing to look at. Today and tomorrow the decorations go up and tomorrow night the festivities begin. There will be tons of people, great food, music, and dancing (yeah!!). I am really looking forward to this, as you might have already guessed. My niece is really looking forward to this, especially after finishing Physics and Trigonometry. It finally hit her the other day that she is about to enter the realm of adulthood, which she says is scary, but I'm sure she will be fine. It's better to head into life with a little bit of caution than to fling yourself into everything without any thought of what you are doing.
What else is going on in my world? Hmm. My performance schedule seems to be getting larger every day. My group is hopefully going to record this summer and our calendar has already started filling for next year. Between me playing for my kids' choir and performing in my group I will have almost 30 performances in the next 5 weeks. Boy, that should be interesting. You know the worst thing about performing? Getting dressed up. I'm not a girly-girl anyway, and having to wear dress clothes at least 4 out of every 5 weekdays is just not my style. But, oh well, there could be worse things in life, so I won't complain. Okay, I'm reading back over this post and I'm noticing that I'm pretty much rambling about nonsensical things. Maybe I should stop now. Ya, I definitely think I will. Until next time.

*About Me* I have: two grandmothers and one step-grandmother, one grandfather and one step-grandfather, five aunts, five uncles, one step-uncle, fourteen cousins, two step-cousins, twelve second cousins, one niece and one nephew!!!!!! Oh, and there are a few family members that I have never met due to their late addition to the family, but I can't keep track of all them. My family is huge! Family get-togethers are something like those in the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". When my sisters and I went to the theater to watch that we were laughing so hard we were crying because we could relate so well to everyone in the movie. Almost every character on the screen represented someone on our family. Granted, we aren't as crazy as all that, but. . . We could certainly hold our own in a competition for total zaniness.

My Future

The summer is here, it is hotter than anything outside and I am glad that the chaos that could describe my life for the past four months is finally over. Sure, I am still busy and there are still a million and one things to do, but there is a lot less stress, and I am more than thankful for that. My future is a little unclear right now, but I am sure which direction I am heading, so that is comforting. My plans for the summer have changed about fifty times, but they are finally starting to take shape and I am looking forward to the next three months. In approximately two weeks I will be older than I care to admit, but even that isn't as bad as it used to be. I have decided to reapply for graduate school and it will be a struggle all the way, but I want this more than anything right now and I am willing to fight for it. I am looking at a couple of programs and staying open to anything interesting that might come my way. I am going to take the GRE again, which means more studying, but I will actually be glad for the opportunity to keep my mind occupied with something academic. I'm not sure yet if I am going to take classes this fall, but if I do it will only be two at most. Life has been, uh, interesting, to say the least, for the past few months and I am finally too tired to worry about anything. What will be will be and there isn't a need to spend good energy and time worrying about how to change things it is not in my power to change. Looking back at my life a year ago, I can say that I have come a long way and I feel like I have learned so many things, two of which most stand out: I am in such great need of a savior and Jesus is such a great savior. I feel like I am at a point where something new is starting in my life. I'm not sure where it will take me, but I am confidant that Jesus will be with me every step of the way and His Spirit will guide me as each bend of the road presents itself and I must make a decision as to which way I will go.

*About Me* I have found that I have a tendency to be extremely pessimistic. Shocked?! I'm sure most of those who truly know me know this is true. The main problem with this is that when I am relating things to people they tend to only hear the bad and never know how much good there really is. I could fairly complain about many things is my life, and I usually complain about more than what is fair, but that leaves out all the amazing things that have happened in my life. I've been thinking the past few days about various things in my life and looking back I can say that for almost every bad thing that has happened there has been something equally as good that has happened. In so many ways I have been blessed beyond measure and that is what I want people to see in my life. It's hard to not focus on the bad sometimes, but I have definitely come to the conclusion that it is so much better to focus on the good and let the bad go. So, here's to me learning to be non-pessimistic!

Why?

You know, the past few days I have run across some strange things and had a few things happen that have left me wondering "why?". I am sure that my experiences are not anything too out of the ordinary, but that doesn't make me feel any better. Why is that the ordinary? If you are faint of heart you best not read any further for I am about to rant. I am sick of reading in the news about deranged teachers who engage in sexual activities with their students. Go find a consenting adult, you insane lunatic! Not only is it the age old issue of the male teacher becoming a little too interested in his female students but now it's women getting involved with young junior high boys and even girls. What are they thinking?! Is there a national movement to enlist more insane people than ever into the education industry? Who did background checks on these people and let them around these students? Why do so many of them feel this is acceptable behavior and even have the nerve to say they are "in love" with their students? Was there a national deficiency in emotional development ten to fifteen years ago so that those who are now adults never made it out of the hormone crazy adolescent years? Sheesh! What is going on?!!!! Second issue, John Edwards encouraging people to protest the war on Memorial Day. Up to this point I have not written about anything political, but this is enough to get me really mad. As someone who works with veterans, who knows people both in my family and out who are deployed over seas, who works with students who have a father fighting in Afghanistan right now, and who has just a general respect for those who have served and have given their lives to ensure freedom in this nation I am disgusted by this man. Talk about politicizing an issue! This man has absolutely no interest in what is going on in the war. His goal is votes, and while that is not a horrible goal to have, he should be a bit more careful about how he goes about reaching that goal. This protest would be a huge injustice to our veterans. Memorial Day is for remembering the sacrifices they made and the accomplishments they achieved. The focus should be on them and not on someone trying to win an election with charismatic phrases that have pretty much no foundation to them. If you are in doubt as to whether or not my opinion is correct, stop a veteran and ask them what they think. They view the day as time to stop and remember those who served this country and those who gave their lives for it, not as an opportunity for someone to make a political point about their opinion on our current engagement. Protesting the war is every American's right, and if that's what you believe is the right thing to do, do it. But don't, on a day we have set aside to honor our veterans, take the spotlight away from those who have done so much and have asked for so little in return.
Third issue, though not as significant as the others, older men who continually flirt with younger women. These men are married with children and yet they see no problem trying to impress the much younger girl they run across at work or elsewhere. I'm sorry, but it just disgusts me. Maybe females should be flattered at the attention, but all I can help thinking is, "Your poor wife!" Why don't they spend their energy on her? I'm sure she is not so terrible that they couldn't manage to at least pretend they are still attracted to her. If it was a once in a while thing, that would be one thing, but I know men that it is a habit with and it's just wrong. Plus, the girl is then put in an awkward situation and she is made to second guess herself and wonder how she is supposed to interact with that person. UGH! It's this type of behavior that makes one want to give up on the male gender. If there are any of you wondering why men have such a bad rap with so many women, this is a good starting point for explanation. I'm not saying all men are like this, but I have encountered so much of this in the last two weeks that it is enough to discourage any sort of hope that such behavior is not inherent to men.
So, that is my ranting for now. I hope nothing was too harsh for you all to handle.

To Sum Up

The past few days have been very interesting for me. Sunday was good, particularly at night. The college group from church got together and we had an old friend over. She is an older woman who just graduated from college and she was telling us all kinds of stories. It was great to hear her talk about the Lord and all the things He has done for her over the years. She was so encouraging. Monday, I had to shop and try on clothes for a performance on Tuesday. I went with some friends and actually it was fun. I must have looked at fifty dresses and actually tried on a few before I settled on one. I am way too picky to go clothes shopping! Then I had rehearsal because some of the songs for the next night were a little shaky. Got home around 10:15 and the scene at my house was crazy. There was music blasting in the living room, someone was trying to vacuum the kitchen, there were 3 or 4 girls talking and trying to do it over the music, and my house mom brought home donuts so everyone was eating. I had to laugh. The chaos was incredible! Yesterday wasn't that eventful, but I had a gig last night. It was interesting to say the least. We sang for a little over a hundred people who are part of an association of retired federal employees and they were from all over the state of Arizona. We sang from 6:30 until 7:20 and then we had to sit around and wait until the meeting was over to break down. So, me and a couple of the guys went to In-N-Out to get dinner. After eating we started the break down and loading of the equipment at 9:00 p.m. We didn't leave until around 10:30 p.m. Ya, it was a late night, but I think it was actually worth it. We were asked to perform patriotic music for the event and it was amazing to see how moved people were to hear those songs. Many of those attending had children or loved ones in the military currently serving in the war or they had served themselves for many years, so they were very appreciative of the music. When I finally dropped into bed at 12 a. m. I was exhausted, but it was nice to know that things had gone well and the night was pretty much a success. This morning I woke up feeling totally wasted, but being exhausted isn't the worse thing in the world. I finally told my family about my denial into grad school, and some of my family about a few other things that had been going on that have been weighing on my mind. I was surprised at their response. It really wasn't anything like I expected. I'm actually glad I did; it is a weight off my shoulders. Anticipating how someone is going to react to something is usually an exercise in extreme stress and I was glad to stop that exercise. So, I feel better today than I have in a long while. I have hope that things will work out in all the different things that are going on in my life right now. I am determined not to worry about tomorrow, to focus on today and live my life the best way I know how and leave the things that I can't control in the hands of Him Who can and does control all things. So, hope you all have a great day because I know I will!

Thoughts

It's been forever since I posted anything and I figured I should probably write something. Honestly, I haven't been in the mood to write anything recently. My thoughts have been preoccupying me for the past few days and I am finding it hard to pull myself out of my reflections to do something like blogging. It seems I have hit another crossroad in my life and I am trying to determine what I should do. I know what I want to do (I think) but I don't know what I should do. The thought struck me this morning that in and of myself I don't really know what will happen in the future so its kinda hard to make decisions based on projected outcomes. I can say I will or will not do this or that because I think such and such will happen if I do, but I don't really know if any of that is true. I woke up early this morning and as I was getting out of the shower it hit me that some of the things I am so sure of are not things I can really be sure of. I can't be sure that a person will do a certain thing or be a certain way. The only person I can be sure of is myself and even that is shaky. I was going over all the feelings, emotions, and thoughts I've had in the past few weeks and trying to determine how many of them were legit and how many were just passing phases. Which hopes and dreams should I hang on to and which should I walk away from. Then I had a realization of what faith is. I've heard so many times that you have to have faith to believe God for something, but that faith has to be based on a word spoken to you by God. What I realized this morning was that faith isn't blindly believing God for something that you want, it is knowing what God wants for you and believing that He will provide it and take care of everything. Example: There are people in my life that I am praying for and want God to do something in their lives, but am I believing God to do what I want Him to do or have I heard from Him and know what His will is and I am believing He will perform His will? The only way faith can work is if I am believing according to God's will. Just randomly believing something is not hearing from God and believing what He said. Now the challenge is to really seek God and find out what His will is, be willing to accept it and then believe according to what He speaks. That is hard to do, but I am determined to find out what His will is and I hope I have the courage to accept it, knowing His ways are perfect, His love for me is pure and completely driven by care for me, and His plans for me are better than anything I could have thought up for myself. So, my head is still full of thoughts but I think things are starting to become more clear. Finally!!!!

Scared

The one thing I most hate to admit is fear. I would have everyone believe that I am totally in control in every situation and that second guesses and fear never play a role in my decision making. That, however, is not the case. This is especially true in relationships. At the start I am so ready to dive in and form a connection with someone, but let them get a little too close and I pull back with much force. Why? Well, it depends on the person and the circumstances, but a lot of it is being scared. That's why I don't trust. I'm scared the person will walk out and leave me, scared I will want something more from them than they can give, scared I will be disappointed, and most of all, scared that once they really get to know me they won't want to have anything to do with me. Everyone can put on a facade and act like a nice person on the surface, but it's those who really know you, in all your glory and your shame, and still hang around that really care about you. I'm always scared that those people don't really exist in my life. So, I wander through life not becoming too connected with anyone until one day someone does care and then what do I do? More often than naught I push them away, unsure of what to do and too scared to move into uncharted waters. So what's the solution? At this point it is to stop, take a deep breath, and move forward - cautiously, but bravely. The unknown is only scary as long as it is the unknown and I am scared only as long as I allow fear to control me.

Who Am I and What Am I Doing In This World

I am sure that at some point in everyone's, or at least nearly everyone's life they question there existence on this planet. For what are we here and what are we to accomplish while here? There are those who see life as having no point and thus there is no reason for our existence and nothing to fulfill while on Earth. They believe we are here by happenstance and that it is mere chance that we began to breathe and in fact live. What a sad state that would be. If there is no point to our existence then why are we here? If there is nothing to accomplish, no ultimate goal we are to reach then what makes human life valuable or meaningful? What is the point of anything? Why would awards and honors be valuable, or faults and failings be looked down on? Why is there value in being loved and why should we love? Why strive to accomplish even the smallest semblance of success if there is no point to it all? I would argue that there is a point and a very good one at that. Human beings have value because God created them, each one, with an individual purpose in life to fulfill and He equips each one with the necessary features to accomplish that purpose. No person is the same or has the same purpose, thus, no person has all the same qualities and assets. No person can fulfill what another was intended to fulfill; only what they were designed to fulfill. My highest goal in life is to fulfill my purpose. It is the one thing that has stuck with me since I was very young. Since I met the Lord when I was 9 I have known that there was some reason I was here and I was determined to find it out and live it out. There have been many struggles, obstacles and times of intense doubt as I have striven to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I still don't know everything God has for me or to what lengths His will for my life will take me, but I am more determined than ever to go with Him all the way. I don't like failing or falling down as I run this race of life, but one thing I refuse to do is stay down and watch the race pass me by. Whatever dreams I may have, whatever desires may fill me, one thing I know for sure, if I will pursue God and His will for my life, He will give me the desires of my heart and do exceedingly, abundantly above and beyond all that I can ask or think. I just have to keep trusting that is true and keep striving, not giving up or allowing laziness and complacency to hold me back.
*About Me* The reason I am interested in voice disorders today is because of my own personal experience with them. Five years ago I was diagnosed with a polyp on my left vocal fold. I was put on voice rest for several months and when that didn't work I had surgery. This ordeal got me interested in the voice disorders and the more I looked into it the more fascinated I was. I started taking classes and found that there wasn't one I didn't like. All the material was so interesting. I loved the clinical work and I felt like, for the first time, I was where I belonged. I still feel that way, and I hope that never stops.

My Weekend

Wow! I can't believe it's all over. This weekend was super crazy for me but it was good. I spent from Thursday evening until early Sunday morning preparing for and then being part of a wedding. I've never been so tired in my life. I took a three hour nap yesterday and then went to bed relatively early last night so I wouldn't be a total zombie this morning. My body is still screaming at me for treating it so brutally. I am sore all over. Oh well. It was a lot of hard work but definitely a good time. Best part: I got to dance! I never get to dance, but since there was a DJ at the wedding my friends and I were like, hey, put him to good use. The rest of the wedding guests thoughts we were crazy but we had a lot of fun. I haven't been on a dance floor in at least two years and I was not going to pass up the opportunity to have a good time. So, I took a break from serving and cleaning and acted silly for about 30 minutes and then returned to my senses and helped clean everything up. It was also great to help someone out. The bride and her family could have never paid for the wedding she had, but everyone helped out and she had her dream wedding. It was really sweet. She was so overwhelmed she didn't really know what to say. It was satisfying to know that all the effort was not in vain.
Yesterday was Mother's Day and I spent most of it with my family. Actually, it was one of the best times I have ever had with them. We took my brother out for his graduation and if you can imagine 12 of us all at the same table in a loud restaurant, well, it was fun. My brother honored my mom for all the hard work and support she has put into him and his career in college and I thought it was very appropriate. For some background info: my mom graduated at the top of her class when she went to nursing school and she graduated with high distinction. But, she didn't want any of the honors, so she never had the cords or the sash. Instead, she put all the focus on Jesus and her family. Last night, my brother gave her a stole of gratitude that honored her for the sacrifices she's made and the help she's given. In many ways it was like she finally received the honors she deserved.
Overall, my weekend was really good. There were so many things going on, even more than what I've written here, but there were so many good things that happened. I can't say that I would want to relive any of this weekend, but I wouldn't mind the opportunity to do again the type of work I did this weekend.

Odds and Ends

The past few days have been a mix of this and that. The school semester is over and I can say that it wasn't what I expected or hoped. Most of that is my own fault and some of it is just normal life disappointments. I am so relieved it is over though. I still haven't decided whether or not I will pursue the research opportunity offered me over the summer, as I am not sure I want to deal with that headache. I am in the planning stages of what to do in the fall. I do have a few ideas and am pursuing some different avenues, but I'm not settled on anything at this point. My kids have been so great to be around the past couple of weeks. They make me laugh and that is always good. They also give me something to care about, an outlet to express concern and be able to help with something. They are so full of life and opinions and absolutely hysterical observations. Yesterday I was laughing so hard at them. Their antics were just hilarious. They do more for me than I could ever do for them. An exciting thing that has been happening this week: several kids at the school got saved. It's amazing to watch what a rebirth of the soul can do to a human being, even someone as young as 12 years old. Hearing them talk about their salvation experience has been such a blessing. It brought back so many memories and helped remind of just how great God is. I'm just so enjoying watching them grow up and learn things and realizing things for themselves. This weekend will be very full. It will actually start today with preparation for a wedding I am helping with. Today and tomorrow I will be helping get things ready for the reception including getting dishes in place and starting on food preparations. Tomorrow I have my brother's graduation ceremony and more preparation. Saturday is the wedding and that will be an all day job. Sunday is Mother's Day and my family is getting together to celebrate my brother's graduation. Family all day!!!!!! Yikes! Should be interesting to say the least. Anyway, Monday I will probably be in sore need of a break from all the chaos, but that is the beginning of a new week and new chaos. :] Needless to say the next few days will be a bit crazy for me, but at least I will be busy and I should have a lot of fun while I'm at it. So, I don't know when you will hear from me next but know that I am kept away for good reasons.
*About Me* Fears: Not being loved. Not being accepted for who I am. Not amounting to much of anything in this life and missing God's purpose for my life. My life will end up like so many other's I know. Spiders and snakes. People who have no restraint. Spooky houses that make noises. Anything slimy or creepy looking. If a chill runs down my spine when I look at it then it's probably not a good thing.
Trusts: That ultimately God is in control and He will take care of me. I am loved by the One Person Who matters most. I have what it takes to succeed in this life. My family cares about me and would help me get through anything. There is good in this world and I can experience it. There is no end to the things you can learn and no limit to what you can achieve if you keep trying. One of my favorite quotes," God said it, I believe it, that settles it."

My 100th

Today is my 100th post! I can't believe I've written that much. Kinda scary actually. I don't know that I've even had enough to say to actually justify 100 posts, but I said it so, there it is. I hope you all have enjoyed the rantings and ravings along the way. Hopefully I've said something that made even a little bit of sense or could actually be considered an intelligent thought. If not, you can keep checking to see if it ever happens because I don't plan on stopping this any time soon. I have finally found the perfect way to express myself and my ideas, and since none of you ever comment on them they go pretty much uncensored. Who could ask for better freedom of speech? Anyway, here's to blogging and all my craziness, may it continue for a while yet.

*About Me* My Couch. I absolutely love my couch at home. I sit down on it and suddenly all I can think of is sleeping. It just swallows you up. It is so comfortable! Granted, it's not great for studying or actually getting anything done, but it is so wonderful to sleep on. Usually, I'm not one for sleeping on couches, but I swear whoever made this one intended people to sleep on it.

A Disappointment

Not everything in life can be good and there will be times when things don't work out the way you want them too, but knowing that doesn't lessen the sting of disappointment. I found out Saturday that something I had been dreaming of for the past two years is not going to happen, at least not any time in the near future. I have invested the past two and a half years in a program that I can't seem to gain entrance into. The major problem? I absolutely love working in the field and don't want to do anything else. I have never felt like I belonged somewhere more. I have never enjoyed working in something more and never wanted to be part of something more. For two years I have put my whole self into accomplishing this goal and yet it seems to elude me. Why? I have no answer for that and no plans for the now very near future. The question everyone is asking - what are you going to do? I have no idea. Try to collect myself and figure out what it is I'm supposed to do. Most of my friends suggest that I wait, collect myself, and try again. I'm not wild about that idea. Perhaps its pride, or discouragement, or a fear of failing again. I don't quite know yet, but I don't want to keep trying. Overcoming the feeling of being a complete failure in a particular area is rather hard for me to get over and not something I want to risk repeating. So what am I going to do? Well, the only thing I can do is try to formulate some sort of plan to get me through at least the next six months and then pray a whole lot until I know what the next step to take is. I do have hope that things will ultimately work out and that God is faithful and will direct me; it's just hard to keep walking straight forward when you don't know what is in front of you. I hate disappointment.
Some music:

Some Good Things

There have been several things that have been good the past two days so I will post on them. Last night I took my nephew to Barnes & Noble and I had a really good time. We were only there about an hour but it was so fun to be with him in one of my favorite stores. We looked at books, played with the train set they had out, bought Starbucks, and spent way too much money. He fell asleep on the way home and I put him in bed at 8:15 so I still had a little time for myself. I love being with him. Today I spent some time with my mom. We were never very close and I haven't lived with her since my first year of college, so I hardly ever just spend time with her. Today we went shopping together and we had fun. It was nice to be with her and help her pick out some gifts for different people and then go to the grocery store with her. She can be really funny to be with, sometimes borderline embarrassing, but a good time nonetheless. My favorite part was her actually commenting on the fact that she was glad we got to spend time together. It was nice to be with my mom. So, those are some good things. I also have pictures. I have added some new ones to my photo album and out some here.
These are nature shots that my sister took. The last two are fuzzy but I love the color in them. You can take the most amazing pictures in Tucson.

Music

I'll post something later but I wanted to post this right now. Good song; so true.



"Let It All Out"

Let it all out
get it all out
rip it out remove it
don't be alarmed
when the wound begins to bleed

cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need

and today I will trust you with confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
but tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief
oh, inconsistent me
crying out for consistency

and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember
the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

and I'll let it be known
at times I have shown
signs of all my weakness
but somewhere in me
there is strength

and you promise me
that you believe
in time I will defeat this
cause somewhere in me
there is strength

and today I will trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
and I'll try my best to just forget
that that man isn't me

reach out to me
make my heart brand new
every beat will be for you
for you

and I know you know
you touched my life
when you touched my heavy heart and made it light

My Day

Ok, my day was rather interesting and a much needed break from the norm. First, today was the National Day of Prayer so I spent the better part of today praying. It was definitely a good thing. I so much needed it. The past week has been a hard one for me and although there have been a lot of good points and many enjoyable moments there has been a deep struggle to deal with some things. I won't lie, there have been moments when all I wanted to do was sit somewhere and cry, but that never solves anything. So, you just keep going and trusting that the Lord will help you and things will get better. Today, things got better. My sense of hope that things will turn out for the best was renewed and I am actually excited again about various aspects of my life that I was starting to become very depressed about. Prayer is so amazing in it's abilities. I found this quote today and it summed up what prayer can do.
"Prayer changes hearts. Prayer changes lives. And prayer makes us a more compassionate and giving people. When we pray we surrender our will to the Almighty, and open ourselves up to His priorities and His touch." -- President George W. Bush
There is nothing like being able to pray and hear from God, get in His presence, and tell Him everything that is in your heart and on your mind. Prayer really does work. Even when I don't always know what to say or how to say what I'm thinking or feeling, or how to pray the way I should, I still pray, knowing God knows all and sees all and He will know how to answer me. I love this Scripture: So too the Holy Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance. Romans 8:26 So, my day started well. Then, I went to work with my kids in the afternoon and it was so funny. We started talking about taking vacations and I mentioned that I wanted to go to Fiji or some tropical island. My youngest student promptly replied that he would never want to do that. Why? Because there are cockroaches 5 to 7 inches long that bite you that live there. I asked him where he got that from and he said his brother read it in a book. Go figure!!!! This kid was convinced that the minute he stepped off the plane he would be devoured by giant cockroaches. Come to find out, his brother was reading about Venezuela and the tropical rain forest! I laughed about that one for a while. Then I spent some time this evening praying with the younger girls in my church and that was pretty interesting. I heard their prayers and opinions about everything from school to music lessons to their future husbands (and mine as well). It was actually a lot of fun. You know, I needed this today. Time to get away from everything going on in my life and just be with those who care about me and who I care most about. Time to reflect on what is really important in life and invest in the lives of those who are so much a part of my life. When I step back and look at the full picture of what is my life I can truly say that I am so blessed. Jesus has been so good, given me so much, and been the best thing that ever happened to me. I am looking forward with anticipation to what He has in store for me, knowing He does only good to those that are His.

Interesting Events

These past few days have been interesting for me to say the least. On Monday I went to a friend's middle school to help her get ready for a musical her 8th grade class is putting on. My help involved coaching the kids on their songs and giving them some singing tips. It was a different experience for me, I have to say. The guys were the first and loudest to greet me. The girls were pretty much unimpressed with my presence. The guys had a hard time singing for me; the girls acted like it was no big deal. It was fun. I so much enjoyed being able to work with students and the music, all of which was from musicals that I love. There were some funny moments, some awkward moments, and some moments when I had to pretend I was actually teaching and be a bit firm. The experience is not one I will soon forget and I hope there will be more in the future. Tuesday was my groups big Latin music performance and that was hilarious if nothing more. Some of the music turned out really well, some of it was no where near good. The funniest thing that happened was a man protesting against migrants right in front of our stage. I couldn't believe it! Here this man was shouting "No amnesty for you!", and "No more wetbacks!" and 75% of the performers are "gringos" and all of us are U. S. citizens, born and raised here, with no need for amnesty. It was hilarious. Que ironico! That was the first time I have ever experienced prejudice for being part of a race I am not a part of. It still makes me laugh. What was the man thinking???? Today the most interesting part of my day was my preparation for our usual Wednesday ministry. Everything that could possible go wrong did. From clothes that were too big and had to be "fixed" to words that weren't translated properly, to my niece's ring getting stuck in my hair, everything was crazy. It all culminated in four of us traveling rather quickly, not speeding mind you, in a car stuffed with instruments and us as well as every kind of imaginable thing which my mother has collected in the past week. It was beyond words, really. One of those things you will try to forget but you know you will always remember. LOL!! Anyway, needless to say, the past few days have been immensely diverting if nothing else, and I am ready for a break. Tomorrow I have the day off from work and I am really looking forward to it. So, that's a glimpse of my nutty life for the time being. Hope it's at least an entertaining read.

*About Me* My uncle once told me that my heart was too big and you know, I think he was right. I get hurt relatively easily, I have to be careful about getting attached to things, and I am always looking for the deep non-superficial relationships. I find myself caring so easily for and about so many things; but I never have given my whole heart to any one earthly thing. There are always boundaries that I won't cross, walls that stay firmly in place. Probably the closest I have come to totally investing my whole heart into a person is my nephew. I love him like I love no one else, and yet, I haven't given him my whole heart. Sometimes I wonder if it's that my heart's too big of if it's that I never fully give my whole heart so there's always more to give. Hmmm. Interesting thought.