A Lesson Learned

"My problem is that you are demanding a resolution to your concerns without taking into consideration the other persons feelings about the issue."  Those words are still ringing in my ears.  My dear Mr. Darcy said them to me while we were discussing something I was upset about.  I have to admit, they were quite unnerving.  I was very upset about something and it was an issue that is important to me.  Something had happened and I was extremely uncomfortable with it.  Being uncomfortable, I did what I always do when in that position and demanded it stop.  Now, here was my husband telling me there was more to it than I was seeing; there were more feelings than mine involved.  Of course I knew there were other people's feelings involved, but I hadn't stopped to think about those feelings and the fact that said feelings might be just as strong as my own.  Well, that put a wrench in things.  How could I demand that things go my way and thus ignore the other person involved?  That would, in essence, be asserting that my own feelings were more important than the other person's.  Being completely honest, I do feel that way, and I want my husband to feel that my feelings are more important than other people's feelings.  However, that's not the truth of the situation.  In reality, no one person's feelings should be valued more than another's.  It's not OK to hurt one person in order to appease another, or ignore a person's feelings in order to please another's.  If you had asked me if I wanted the other person in the situation hurt, I would have said "no" without a second thought, and it would be the truth, but by not considering how they would be affected by my actions I was essentially doing the same thing.  Now, I'm not saying that you should allow things to happen that make you uncomfortable or are harmful to you just because you are trying to ensure that everyone around you is happy.  I am saying that it behooves us to consider the other person in the situation and to really look at all sides before making decisions to ease our own discomfort that could be potentially harmful to others.  My husbands words were right, and while exceptionally uncomfortable at the time, they were something I needed to hear.  I needed to be reminded that I am not the only person with feelings, and my feelings are not anymore important than someone else's.  Rather than demanding my way and demanding my feelings be respected, I should be approaching the situation with the view of what is best for everyone involved.