Grieving

My heart is breaking right now and I can't seem to stop the steady flow of tears that started last night when I first heard the news. My nephew was to be born some time in late March or early April. My whole family was anticipating the arrival of this first addition to the next generation in almost 10 years. Then something went terribly wrong and my sister-in-law went into preterm labor. The family fought to find a hospital that would agree to take the baby and treat it since it was less than 24 weeks old. The first hospital sent them home and the second hospital had to be convinced to treat if the baby was born. To make matters worse, the mother started running a temperature and her white blood cell count went up indicating an infections was starting. After 24 hours on antibiotics, the infections was still raging and the mother went into full fledged labor. My nephew was born at 8:15 p.m. last night. He was immediately placed on a ventilator and sent to the NICU. His heart was strong and he came out kicking. We thought, we hoped, he would survive. We knew the first night would be a crucial one for him. After three hours of fighting, his lungs simply couldn't process the oxygen he was receiving and his strong little heart finally gave out. My brother and his wife, along with my parents and my siblings, gathered in the NICU and had the chance to hold the baby and say their goodbyes. It was a precious moment in a tumultuous time. After just a short interval in this world, the baby left for a far better place, and while I know that he is at peace, I cannot help but grieve his passing. There were so many hopes and dreams for this child. He was a life with promise. I cannot pretend to understand why this has happened or how it is that my family was chosen to bear this burden. I can, however, rest in the knowledge that God is the giver of life and He saw fit to allow this child into our lives. It may have been for just a brief period, but it was a gift for which I am grateful. I am so sorry I never got the chance to meet him, to watch him grow and develop the great big personality he was bound to have. I am sad I never got to hold him or give him Auntie hugs and kisses. Yet, I feel so blessed to have been a part of the fight for him to have his brief time here. The hours spent praying, hoping, and believing do not feel like a waste. They were my chance to be a part of his life, and I'm glad I took that chance when I had it.
Still, there is much more grieving ahead and I hurt not only for the loss of my nephew, but also for the tough road ahead for my brother and his wife. This is not a light thing and there will be many dark days ahead. I hope and pray that on those days they will not forget that even though the sky is overcast the sun is still shining behind those clouds and it will eventually break out. Grief is a part of life and sorrows will come for each of us. Right now my heart is heavy with sorrow but I know that joy will come again and when it does, how much sweeter it will seem for the sorrow I have endured.