Loving People

What does it really mean to love someone? I've asked myself that question at least an hundred times. I have a huge family and many friends that I feel I love. There are people in my life that mean a great deal to me and those that I would fiercely argue that I love, but what does that mean in the living of it? Well, love is a choice first of all, and it is a sacrifice second of all. So many times we get caught up in the part of love that feels good. We enjoy the way it makes us feel, we enjoy the "perks" that love brings - the warmth, the security, the hugs, kisses, comforting words, shoulders to cry on - but what about the work that love entails? We often forget about that and then when called on to exercise real love we fail miserably because we don't like how it feels. With love comes pain and hardship. When you choose to love someone you make a choice to love them good or bad, rain or shine, whether or not they treat you right, because love is not about receiving, it's about giving. That's a hard pill to swallow sometimes. We want those we love to love us the way we love them, to do for us what we do for them, to treat us in the way we feel we treat them, and sometimes we expect them to show us love in the same way we show them love. But that is not loving someone. That is being selfish and loving ourselves. I Corinthians 13 is an entire chapter on the characteristics of love, and it's an enlightening read on what love truly is. It says love is patient and kind. That means that it is never impatient or unkind. In every circumstance, when someone is at their best or worst, no matter how they act or what happens, if you love them you will have patience and be able to maintain kindness. Is this hard to do? Absolutely! But if you really love someone it can be done. I Corinthians 13 also says that love does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek to do that which pleases itself but what serves the other person better, it doesn't insist on its own rights or its own way, and it isn't resentful or fretful. These are all things that are a challenge for me in my relationships with those I love. I become frustrated with how someone is treating me, irritated that I am not getting as much as I am giving, annoyed that I have to put up with the faults and shortcomings of others, and fretful that maybe I am not loved as much as I love. It takes the Holy Spirit reminding me that I am not truly loving someone when I am acting this way to get me back on track. At times it seems it is impossible to live out this explanation of love, but then I have to remember as well that God is love, He is the originator and provider of love, and only He can put true love in our hearts for others. If He puts the love there then He will help us to live it out the way it was intended to be lived out. The only thing we have to do is choose to live love out, to let the Lord help us when we can't do it on our own, and to put those we love before ourselves. Then we will truly be loving someone. This is a hard lesson to learn and I have by no means learned it, but I want to. I know there are those I really love, those God has put a special love for in my heart, and I want to really love them. When it's all said and done, I think that learning to truly love someone helps you to love them even more. I think it's loving through the good and the bad together that draws you closer together to those you love. For every time you choose to live out your love for someone it makes your love for them grow stronger. I won't say that it makes it easier to make the right choice, but it does help you to form the habit of doing the right thing, which is good for both you and those you love. Yes, truly loving someone is hard work, but it is possible and so worth the effort.