An Experience

I am always amazed by the love and the grace of God. There have been many times, too many to count, in my life in which I have failed the Lord miserably. I have used and abused wonderful gifts He has given me and I have treated that which He has divinely given me as though it was not worthy of divine treatment. I will freely admit that I have made colossal errors and have fallen on my face multiple times. I have failed the Lord in what seem to be some of the simplest of things. Well, I have done it again and I am feeling pretty raunchy about it. I woke up yesterday morning not really feeling like going to church because it felt much better to wallow in the self-loathing and condemnation that filled my mind. HOW could I have screwed up again???? Why couldn't I stop doing this? How pathetic I am! Then, quite by Divine Providence, I decided to check my email. There was one from my little sister - a video link. I was curious as to what the link was so I played it. Scenes from the scourging and crucifixion of Jesus filled the screen as music played and the words "This blood is for you" echoed over and over again. Suddenly, very vividly, I was reminded that the blood of Jesus is what cleanses us from sin, whatever that sin may be and however often we might commit. Jesus' love is never-ending, His grace is always freely offered to us if we will only remember that it is there for us to take. If we will shift our focus off of ourselves and instead fix it on the cross and surrender ourselves to the power of the blood split there then we will always remember that there is forgiveness, there is grace to cover the sin, and there is love to help us continue on. Tears were streaming down my face as I recalled what Jesus had done for me; of what He had suffered and endured so that I would not have to live under the curse of sin. His display of love was the truest and purest that has ever been or ever will be. He still loves me! Even with all my screw ups, with all my willful sinning, with all my wrong choices, with all my stubbornness and pride and all the other hideous things that rear there ugly heads in our lives. Jesus still loves me, He is still willing to forgive me, still hoping that I will accept His grace for my life and the living of it, and His blood is still powerful enough to make the vilest sinner clean. Only God could have established something this wonderful. Only he could have seen that sending His Son 2000 years ago would mean not only immediate redemption from our sins and our dark eternal destiny but continued grace and forgiveness for all the things we would still do wrong in our fallen nature. Only God could love us enough to provide a way to not only start a relationship with Him but help us continue to walk with Him day in and day out. I'm so thankful that He reminded me of that yesterday morning. I left the self-loathing and condemnation behind me and went to church and enjoyed being in His presence, knowing He loves me and He forgives me when I ask.