The Girl, Part 5

The girl was visiting the castle and in so many ways she was enjoying herself. It was so good to see old friends and visit with family. There was nothing like being able to wrap her arms around her loved ones and give them a warm embrace. She was most thankful for the chance to catch up with those who were closest to her heart and just having the chance to hold them in her arms meant the world to her. Most of the people in the castle seemed genuinely happy to see her, and yet, there were those who were most decidedly unhappy with her presence. As the girl moved about the castle and visited everyone she was surprised at the odd way in which warmth and coldness, love and hatred seemed to be mixed. For all the warm greetings and cheerful hello's there was one cold shrugging off, complete denial of her presence. At times it was those who were once closest to her that treated her this way and the pain she felt tore through her like a knife ripping through her very soul. She tried to ignore it and move on, but she could not deny the deep hurt that tugged at her heart each time these encounters happened. No, she could not stay here. The castle was not her final resting place in the journey of her life. She would need to keep searching. The time of her visit would most assuredly come to an end and when it did she would leave, never to return again. Perhaps she might visit again, but she would never live withing the walls and confines of the castle ever again. The realization of this made her look at castle life more deeply. What did it all mean? Why did the inhabitants live their lives locked away and shut off from the rest of the world? What were they trying to keep out? What were they hiding from? Why did they try to create a world of their own when they were still very much living here on the earth? These questions filled the girl's head as she wandered too an fro about the castle. It was strange that she had ever been a part of it. Almost surreal in the realization of it. But had she ever really been a part of it? She didn't think so. She had been born into the castle, but the castle had not been born into her, and that is what made all the difference in the world. She was not like her family. They were very much a part of the castle, for better or for worse. They didn't seem to be able to separate themselves from it. But the girl couldn't seem to bind herself to it. The ties that tried to bind her never held and because of it she could now look at life here in the castle with a much more open, objective view; and that led to some startling realizations for the girl.
She had been happy as a child here in the castle. Well, in some ways. Upon remembering her childhood there had been things that were really great but there were other things, terrible things, that had not been so great. She had always wondered why she had experienced the bad things in a place that seemed so loving and warm. Now that she was older and had returned, she knew why. It was the same reason that some of the inhabitants treated her so coldly. Intolerance, bitterness, hatred, selfishness, and fear. These things resided in the residents of the castle, filling some of them completely, and it did what it could only do - produce mean, cold-hearted, unforgiving people. On the surface they were not so, but deep inside that is what they were. The girl noticed that it seemed to be much more apparent in the older people, with the younger people not being quite as affected, but if they did not guard against it, it would take them over as well.
Now, as the girl roamed the castle the walls seemed cold and uninviting, the life seemed tainted and unpleasant. It was not what she had been trained to think it was. It was an illusion, an attempt on the part of those that lived there to fulfill an ideal in a faulty, flawed manner. The result was a dangerous deception and a removal from reality. No wonder the walls of the castle had been erected with such thickness and height. No wonder they kept the gates so locked up and the inhabitants safely bound inside. No wonder they guarded the castle and their life inside so fiercely. No wonder they could not bear to be a part of the outside world. Any glimpse of reality, any encounter with truth would shake the very foundations of the world they had created and then what would they have? Nothing but a heap of rubble and years of wasted lives. That would be a lot to deal with and no one was volunteering for the task. Instead, they were attempting to press on with the dream, the illusion, hoping that it would one day become a reality, a truth they would not have to defend.
The girl returned to her room and began packing her things with a heavy heart. She knew that she must sever the ties that bound her to this place once and for all. She could not return. She had seen it for what it really was and she could not close her eyes to the truth and pretend it was not what it was. She now understood why she had so many unanswered questions. She would leave this place of lies and illusions and keep traveling until she found her answers. She knew they were out there as sure as she knew she was alive. There had to be a way to find them. Perhaps her experiences here at the castle would help her in her quest. It could not have been for nothing that she had started on this journey. There must be purpose and a plan to it all and she would strive to find that plan.