My Nephew

Have you ever lost someone you love? Perhaps not, but believe me it is one of the toughest things anyone ever has to face. The desire to see that person, the loneliness, the frustration at their not being a part of your life any longer. When that person is still living, but you are not able to be around them or have contact with them, it seems the pain is even more excruciating. The fear that they will forget you, never know how much you love them, or worse not return your affection are things that seem almost impossible to bear. I love my nephew more than probably anyone in this whole world. I owe him a great debt as he is the one that taught me to love and love unconditionally. Seeing him was always the highlight of my day. Having him wrap his little arms around me, kiss me on the cheek, and tell me he loved me was the best feeling in the whole world. There is no way to properly describe it. I cannot think of the right words to relate to you what our relationship was like, but it was definitely something special. His autism and disabilities made him even more special. He was always such a joy to be around. His ability to make me laugh and smile was second to none. He is such a sweetheart. He always knew when I was upset and would look at me with his big brown eyes and ask, "What's wrong?" Then he would stroke my arm and give me a hug, never leaving my side until he felt confident that I was alright. He is such an imp. His antics would always make me smile or have me in stitches depending on how ridiculous they were. There are so many things about him to love and cherish and I absolutely loved every moment of his company. Now, I can't be around him. I never see him and he is no longer a part of my life, but oh, how I wish he was. I miss him so much! I have not found anything that fills the void that his absence has left. I wonder if I will ever fully recover from his not being there but in some ways that is bittersweet. I don't know that I want another to take his place. I have learned how to deal with his absence and perhaps that is enough. Still, I can't help from tearing up whenever he is mentioned or feeling that deep sorrow of missing those you love whenever I am reminded of him. He is truly a gift and I will never forget him. At this point I can only hope that some day I will be able to again be a part of his life and he a part of mine. It would truly be a blessed day for me. Wherever you, my precious little man, I hope you will always know how much I love you and wish for you the best life in this world. You are so special and I hope you know how much I wish I was with you. I love you.