Who I Am and Grace

Everyone has ideas about who they are and who they want to be, and everyone is who they really are whether they like it or not. There is a side to all of us that is unpleasant and, well, wicked. The Bible says we have all fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), which means that there isn't anyone who is perfect or who has never done, thought, or contemplated something wrong. Is that a harsh thing to say? Perhaps, but it is true. Deep down, when push comes to shove human beings will sink to their lowest and do their worst. Sure, there is a side to most people that is good (sort of) and there are people that seems to be filled with nothing but benevolence, but, deep down, even they have a bad side to them. Of course it is much easier to realize this about other people and never really face it about yourself. That's why when you do something wrong you label it as a "mistake" or a "bad decision" rather than a "sin" or something "wrong". It is so much easier to say that you did something because you used poor judgment than to say you did it because you are totally selfish and had nothing but bad motives driving your decisions. As hard as it is to face this, though, there is never really any help for you until you do, and that's what repentance is all about. God shows you what you are really like, how wicked and totally wrong you are and you turn to Him, acknowledge that He is right, ask Him for forgiveness, and ask Him to change you, and He does! I have experienced this many times in my life, but last night I had an especially real experience of this. There was something I was praying about and the Lord showed me what He thought of my actions, how He viewed my behavior and what was really going on in the situation, and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty. But, it did drive me to repent and ask the Lord to forgive me and help me rectify the situation. It's amazing how you can think you are so right, how innocent you think you are and then God steps in and shows you the truth and there is nothing left to hide behind, there is only His grace to fall on. The words to the famous hymn come to mind, more vivid at this point than ever before: Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see. Thank God He found me, opened my eyes and gave me the wonderful gift of His grace.