Why Women Want Marriage

My Mr. Darcy asked me an interesting question today. He asked why it was that all women seemed to rush relationships towards marriage much faster than men did. It seemed to him that from the start of the relationship the woman's primary focus and goal was the official wedding day. I thought about this question a lot today. I have heard the idea espoused before but I hadn't given it much thought. Do women really respond that way in a relationship? Is their ultimate goal and all consuming purpose always their wedding day and if so, why? After having thought about it a bit and reasoning a bit I think I can say it probably is true more often than not that women do tend to rush towards marriage much quicker than men, but I wouldn't say it is the actual wedding day they are in a hurry to reach so much as the idea of security that marriage represents. In a relationship if the only commitment is a verbal conceding that there is a mutual interest and care for each person that doesn't really count for much. How many people tell their boyfriends and girlfriends how much they love them and a span of time later decide that they aren't really the person they want to spend the rest of their life with? Too many that I know of. I think most women want a sense of security and they feel that in a relationship that security isn't there until there has been a proposal and a ring given. I would argue that it isn't even the day of the wedding for which they are pushing so hard, but an actual commitment from their partner to stay with them. Somehow nothing can quite assure someone of love and devotion in a relationship like the promise of and the act of marriage . Also, there is the aspect that women want to give themselves completely to whoever it is they are with. They want to love with abandonment, be free to be themselves and still be loved, and feel that their partner is truly their own. Why would you do this without the commitment of marriage? It's risky within marriage, why would you attempt it without the commitment of the other partner to stick with the relationship? Sure, wedding days are nice to dream of and planning your wedding can be the biggest and best time of a woman's life, but I don't think that is what most women are pushing for when they say they want their man to commit. I think it is more a basic need to be reassured that they are worth the commitment of marriage and that their man is strong enough to make that commitment. Of course, in the middle of all this I can't help but wonder just a little about the issues men seem to have with commitment. They are definitely more shy about it than women. I find myself wondering if perhaps it is not that the woman is pushing too hard for a marriage but that the man is scared of the huge leap he is about to make and is afraid to commit. Not that it is a terrible thing to be hesitant in making big decisions, but every man should ask himself if it is his desire to make a wise decision that is driving him or is it fear, and as someone I know once said, fear is never from God. So, Mr. Darcy, in answer to your question, for most women it is not a day they are rushing towards, but a commitment and with it the security and fulfillment it brings.