My Father

Through most of my teenage years I didn't have my father around. I moved out of his house just before I turned 15 and after that I would visit him occasionally or talk with him on the phone but he wasn't really a part of my life and he certainly did not function as my father. My mom did the best she could but she couldn't be my dad. When I lived with my dad he wasn't around much but at least he was there some of the time and I could talk to him and he had input in my life. Since I was 15 I have had no continual father figure in my life and let me tell you, it has been rough. I don't know what sparked it this week but I started reminiscing and it made me realize how much I miss my dad. I miss having a father I can talk things over with and get advice from. I can't ask my dad for a man's opinion of female behavior and what is or isn't a good idea; I can't ask him for advice about guys I'm interested in and get his view on who would be a good idea and who wouldn't; I can't ask for help with my finances or in making decisions about my future; and what I miss the most - I can't come home and walk into his arms and have him hold me or cry into his shoulder when I hurt too much to even speak or have him there to protect me from the world when it is just too much for me to handle. Yes, I really miss him. What's the point of this blog? Well, I don't want you to feel sorry for me - everyone has things that are hard in their life. I just want a chance to say that despite how much I miss my father and very much wish he were a part of my life, I do have a Father. (For those of you who are squeamish at the mention of spiritual things you might want to stop reading now.) I know that God is not a physical father, but believe me, His presence in my life as a Father has been so real to me and such a comfort. No, I can't go to my dad for advice, but I can go to God. Whenever I need comfort, whenever I need advice, whenever I need to be held - God is right there. There is never a time when He doesn't show up or fails to respond to me or help me. When I'm at my lowest or in the biggest trouble I can get myself in God has always stepped in and helped me. Whenever I am so hurt or just need to cry I know I can talk to God and just sit in His presence and let Him comfort me or read from His Word and let it speak to my spirit, let it act like the soothing balm that it is. I'm sure this sounds crazy to a lot of you, but believe me, it is so real. I have numerous friends who do not understand why I am so in love with Jesus or why He is a part of everything in my life, but they don't understand what He has done for me, all the times He has come through for me, all the things He has brought me through, the hurts He has healed, the provisions He has made, the awesome things He has done for me. In light of everything He has done for me and continues to do for me, how could I think anything less of Him than I do or give Him anything less than my life? This week when I missed my dad so much it made me cry my only comfort was being able to pray and have God comfort me, wrapping His spiritual arms around me and holding me close, assuring me that He is truly a Father to the fatherless and He will never leave me or forsake me. So, I may not have much of a physical father, but at least I have not been left completely without, and I am so thankful I have not been.